Today, we only had a half-day with the students. As expected, none of them felt like doing any work and very little was accomplished.
First period: Rosie was the one that got under my skin the most today. She started the day with a big wad of gum in her mouth. I told her to spit it out. A few minutes later, she raised her hand and asked if they would be testing in my room every day. I said, "Yes," although I later learned that I will now be testing the 11th graders in Science and Social Studies. She groaned and I told her that it really didn't matter whose room they were in because there would be no teaching, only testing. She said that it would matter if it was with me, because she didn't want to be around me. I shrugged that one off. A minute later, when I saw gum in her mouth again, I gave her a check and once again told her to spit it out. Two minutes later, she was still chewing on something. I gave her another check and she was adament that she wasn't chewing gum. She had been talking to Teletubby the entire time too, so I wasn't about to let her off the hook.
I think I got under Step Six's skin a little bit today. My class kept asking me personal questions. It is pretty common. I am pretty careful to divulge information, because I know that the less they know about me, the better. Anyways, after several questions about where I live, including the address, and who I live with, Step Six asked me if I had a girlfriend. I responded with a smile and asked a question of my own: "Why? Are you looking?" The class broke out and he threw a pencil at me. "Man, you don't ask a guy a question like that. I asked him why he cared and he never really gave me an answer. At first, I thought he was joking around but I honestly think he was upset with me. I pulled him aside after class and told him that he shouldn't be concerned with a teacher's personal life and that he can't throw a pencil at me. Truth be told, I probably should have written him up, and I know he would've been suspended. Next time he acts out and complains about how I single him out, I can bring this up as an instance when I let him off the hook.
Candy Bar Man started his second period in the back of the room with his arms folded, insisting that he wasn't going to do any work. I really only wanted to show the kids a few things on the calculator. After I gave him the dirtiest look ever, he let up a bit and decided that he would work for candy. I got out the calculators and made sure they knew the basics. They did today, but there is no telling what will be retained tomorrow.
We started reviewing a bit. I split the class up into a girls' group and a boys' group. There were only five kids in class, three boys and two girls. Candy Bar Man decided to start with the personal questions, asking where I lived. I responded by asking him why he wanted to know and if it was because he wanted to hang out. He said, "Yeah, man, Mr. C---ayyyne. I'd drink a couple of 40s with ya." I can't imagine what that would be like.
Anyways, the girls beat the boys in the review game. They all knew next to nothing. I think the girls have an outside chance of passing their LEAP test, but none of the boys have a prayer. Logically, you would think they could guess correctly on about 25% of the multiple choice questions. Today, it seemed like they might have gotten 10% right.
At the end of the hour, Candy Bar Man was begging the girls for some of their victory candy. I think he may have gotten a couple of M&M's.
Third period was the last class that I attempted to teach today. It did not go well. Whisper kept calling me a liar for the candy. I don't know where he got the idea that I promised him candy. I moved him against the wall and told him to face the bookcase. I made another tall boy with glasses face the wall. This kid honestly just looks like the dumbest person I have ever seen. He isn't a bad kid, but he doesn't have a clue. He tried to hide candy from my once, but it was sticking out of his sweatshirt. He seems to be about 30 seconds late on everything I say. I am going to give him the name of "Dopey". Dopey and Whisper were facing the wall, and I also had to move Big Sexy and Worm with Braids against the wall too. I had two kids do the bell ringer and nobody else did a thing the entire time. I raised my voice several times and even said that I was only trying to help them, but they were too stupid to even realize it. Not sure if that went over too well, but I was tired of holding back. Worm with Braids was in the far back corner and he continued to talk even when I was right in front of him. I got right in his face and started screaming at him to shut up. He continued to talk as if I wasn't there. I had had enough and kicked him out. I attempted to slam the door behind him, but my hand slipped off from the knob. That elicited laughter from the class.
Luckily, my third period only lasted half an hour, and at 10:30, I took my class to the lunchroom. I was pleased to see that Step Six and Whisper had both gotten in trouble for talking and were running and doing jumping jacks. I made sure to tell the man doling out the discipline to make Whisper run one extra. He winked at me as he handed out one more lap.
I saw that Onepac was standing in the corner of the lunchroom. What a dumb thug that kid is. He has the strange idea that he can intimidate me. Later in the day, I would say him puff out his tiny chest as he walked by me and began rapping. I know I shouldn't, but I do honestly wish some of these kids would take a swing at me. Only certain kids and only sometimes.
The high school lunch period only lasted fifteen minutes and the kids were sent back to the classroom for their homeroom. The middle school then was able to eat an abbreviated lunch. As I walked into my homeroom, I saw Rosie hit Teletubby in the head with a tiny dry-erase board. He seemed okay, but the board sustained a crack down the middle. I got both of them out in the hallway. The principal stood there and I told her, along with the sergeant and the security lady what had happened. It was obvious that they were only playing around, but it had damaged the board. The principal said the board was probably worth about five dollars. Teletubby handed me a five and they returned to the room. I rolled my eyes and gave it to the principal. She then said something about how Teletubby and Rosie must be boyfriend and girlfriend.
I learned that a romantic relationship between the two was highly unlikely for two reasons.
Reason one: Rosie has a belly the size of a large watermelon. I checked. She isn't pregnant.
Reason two: Teletubby was drawing on his brand new dry-erase board. While he was doing this, I noticed he was also reading a magazine: Woman's World. To make matters worse, Teletubby was wearing a pink shirt with a yellow sweater vest today. Not sure if that raises questions or just answers them. It probably answers them. I know that I no longer have any doubts.
As I was standing by the door to listen for the buses to be called, I noticed some students giving me dirty looks as they passed by. A girl remarked how none of the students liked me. I do think that the vast majority probably don't. I am far from the most popular teacher here, and I think that I am okay with that. If I was really popular with the students, I would worry that I was trying too hard to be their friend and not their teacher. I have a decent rapport with a few students and do genuinely want to see them succeed. I'm not sure if it will come with the rest, but I am sure that it is really difficult to like somebody if you don't like yourself. It makes me sad to see how little respect so many of my students have for themselves.
My afternoon was spent cleaning my room and getting ready for testing. I also organized my rather large check backlog. Some of my students have attained a ridiculous amount of checks in the past few weeks. I think Teletubby has about 30 from the past month or so.
Testing begins tomorrow. I am a bit nervous, but also excited to see how my students do. I am kind of glad that I no longer have to administer the math portion, because I don't want to have angry kids coming after me when they see some problems that are unfamiliar. I do have a list in my head of who I think can pass and who I really want to see succeed. I won't know how they do for quite a while, but this next few days was the reason I was hired here, so I hope I find that I have made atleast a small difference, even if that means helping a single student pass a test that they wouldn't have otherwise.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
A conscience?
Today was not a good day.
My first period came in pretty wild. I guess that the students were searched. Testing starts on Wednesday, and I think that the school is trying to confiscate as many cell phones as they can. If a phone goes off during testing and the state catches it, they have the authority to void every single test on campus. Anyways, the kids were riled up.
Teletubby was extra chatty today. He was jawing with his arch nemesis. She can be either really nice or a total nutjob. Today, she was the latter. We will call her Psycho T.
Teletubby was in the front of the room talking to Psycho T. I gave him a check and asked him to sit down. He continued to talk after the check as if I wasn't even there. Finally, I yelled loudly at him and he sat down. However, he continued to talk a minute later.
Psycho T was asking him about fighting, and Teletubby told her he would fight anybody. I would put my money on Psycho T. Anyways, she kept talking and I told her to move to the opposite corner. She started yelling, "Why is he talking to me?" in a funny accent. I couldn't tell if she was angry, joking, or on drugs. Probably on drugs. Finally she moved as the man from FLC popped his head in the door. It must have been pretty noisy.
Teletubby kept talking even with the new guest and even got out of his chair. I couldn't quiet him down so I told him to leave. He was walking out the door and told Psycho T that she stole and that's why her mama was in jail. She continued with her off-the-wall shouting and I got her out of the room as well. I later found out that Psycho T wouldn't calm down and got arrested. I wish I could've seen that.
The rest of my first period was a waste. They were so noisy that I got next to nothing done. I can genuinely say that I currently despise that class.
Second period fared a bit better. I had a few of the favorites in today, including Candy Bar Man, Terry Schiavo, and Linda Blair. Candy Bar Man thought I had kicked him out of class when I told him to stop talking, but he was able to settle down and do his work. I often have an extra credit question for those that finish their bell ringer early. Today was an easy one: What kind of candy bar do you want when you pass your LEAP test? Candy Bar Man gave an answer that wasn't a candy bar at all. He decided he wanted a bag of Doritos, but he had a unique spelling: "Dreitoes". I was able to figure out what he meant.
Terry Schiavo was asked to go speak to the assistant principal, who we have given the name "Huggy Bear" to. Upon returning, he told me that he thought Huggy Bear was high. Quite an off the wall statement, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me.
Everybody did their work in second hour and I gave them all candy because the two teams tied in the review game. Candy Bar Man later told me that he didn't remember getting any candy from me. With most people, I would think it was a joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if he really did forget.
Third period was a mess. I had to get Cat Eyes (making her triumphant return) and Worm with Braids out of class right away because they were busy pushing. They ran and then came back.
The girl that called me "Big Sexy", who we will just call Big Sexy (she is big, but definitely not sexy), also didn't last long. She was sitting in the back and talking, and I told her to move to the front. She complained and took a good two minutes to get out of her seat. On her way to the front, she bumped into a boy (Stabbed with Pencil) and slapped him in the face. That was tht end of her day.
Whisper was back in rare form today, although I didn't kick him out. He came in and started complaining about how it was "bullshit" that I had promised him candy for three days if he was good and then "was a liar" because I didn't give him any. I gave him a check for his language, and he started complaining about how I picked on him and gave him checks even though he didn't do anything that other people didn't do. Later, another student made the statement that Whisper didn't get any pussy, and he responded, "I'd fuck your sister." I gave him a second check for that. He was amazed. I don't even know if he realized what he said. I know that he didn't realize how that could be construed as offensive.
I didn't really teach at all that period, and even blew my top a bit, telling my students to stop "acting like idiots." They were offended, but I quickly covered my tracks, saying that I didn't think they were idiots, they were simply "acting" like them. I lied.
I was pissed off at the beginning of fourth period. FOUR new students. FOUR kids that I have never seen before. I have been here less than two months. Since then, I have added 13 students to the roster in that class alone. It is ridiculous. I don't know how to teach when every week, I am getting kids that are starting totally fresh. I have no idea what background they have and I don't know how to even try to catch them up.
That class was pretty noisy, and I didn't get a whole lot done there either. I ended up teaching Prudence and a few others. Suit Man was angry today, but I think he was mad at the rest of the class and not me. I got a handshake so that made me feel a bit better.
Only four in my fifth period: Big Kid in Camo, TB, Skinny Kid in Camo, and a guy that never came much until recently. He is always smiling, so I'll call him "Happy". Big Kid was the only one that was driving me nuts again. He has made it very clear that he is dropping out soon and isn't going to work. I was able to bribe him to do work by offering candy. He quickly gave up after he tried to change an answer once I told him it was wrong. Two minutes later, he was back at it.
Every day, I try to look for one kid that gives me a reason to come back for another day. Today was Skinny Kid in Camo. He dominated the review game and is really learning. I was smiling the entire time. "Oh, I got dis. I got dis. I got dis," he would say as he jotted down his answer. By God, most of the time it was right, too! When he was walking out of the room at the end of the day, I called him back and was able to say two words to get a smile from him: "You're ready." I really think he is, too.
Homeroom was more of the same from earlier. The Big White Kid answered every question that I had. Jam Master Jay, who had tried to chew gum three times earlier in the day was loud and walking around. He ended up writing four checks today. That probably ties my record.
The Boy with the Tattooed Hands was back in my room for the end of the day with his mother. I think she was a bit appalled by how out of control my room was. She talked to me after class with her son, asking what was happening. I told her that when her son's behavior was out of line and I attempted to correct him, he grew angry with me and started swearing. When asked why, he said that he was angry. She also told me that he felt like I hated him and liked when he got in trouble. I told him that I didn't dislike him (which is true to a certain extent) and wanted to help him. At her request, the Boy with the Tattooed Hands gave me a half-hearted apology.
We had a meeting regarding testing after school today. I learned that I will be testing the regular ed 10th graders. There are nine of them. My lineup includes Step Six, The Both with the Tattooed Hands, the Great Black Hope, and The Rapist. Should be an interesting week.
Anyways, the lowlight of my day: When I returned to my room after a good Tae-Bo workout, I noticed that my flash drive was stolen from my computer. All of the PowerPoints, worksheets, and notes that I have made for the class were on it as well as some music and personal things that I wouldn't want any of my students reading. I have gotten stuff stolen from class before, but this really angers me. It was personal and important to me. I have spent countless hours on those things, and somebody stole it for no reason other than to make me angry. I forget what I am dealing with, but it never crossed my mind that somebody would steal that. I am guessing that is because it is something that I would never consider doing.
One of the hardest realizations that I have made here (and my uncle even mentioned it) is that almost (if not) every single one of these kids would stab me in the back. This school is a microcosm of society, except everything is greatly exaggerated.
I don't know how I am going to handle this latest incident tomorrow. I have no way of knowing who took it and I don't plan on ever getting it back. I wish that some of these pricks would know that I am only trying to help them and would atleast show me the basic human decency that should be extended to everyone. I suppose when you have no pride in yourself, it is hard to take pride in the work and efforts of others.
My first period came in pretty wild. I guess that the students were searched. Testing starts on Wednesday, and I think that the school is trying to confiscate as many cell phones as they can. If a phone goes off during testing and the state catches it, they have the authority to void every single test on campus. Anyways, the kids were riled up.
Teletubby was extra chatty today. He was jawing with his arch nemesis. She can be either really nice or a total nutjob. Today, she was the latter. We will call her Psycho T.
Teletubby was in the front of the room talking to Psycho T. I gave him a check and asked him to sit down. He continued to talk after the check as if I wasn't even there. Finally, I yelled loudly at him and he sat down. However, he continued to talk a minute later.
Psycho T was asking him about fighting, and Teletubby told her he would fight anybody. I would put my money on Psycho T. Anyways, she kept talking and I told her to move to the opposite corner. She started yelling, "Why is he talking to me?" in a funny accent. I couldn't tell if she was angry, joking, or on drugs. Probably on drugs. Finally she moved as the man from FLC popped his head in the door. It must have been pretty noisy.
Teletubby kept talking even with the new guest and even got out of his chair. I couldn't quiet him down so I told him to leave. He was walking out the door and told Psycho T that she stole and that's why her mama was in jail. She continued with her off-the-wall shouting and I got her out of the room as well. I later found out that Psycho T wouldn't calm down and got arrested. I wish I could've seen that.
The rest of my first period was a waste. They were so noisy that I got next to nothing done. I can genuinely say that I currently despise that class.
Second period fared a bit better. I had a few of the favorites in today, including Candy Bar Man, Terry Schiavo, and Linda Blair. Candy Bar Man thought I had kicked him out of class when I told him to stop talking, but he was able to settle down and do his work. I often have an extra credit question for those that finish their bell ringer early. Today was an easy one: What kind of candy bar do you want when you pass your LEAP test? Candy Bar Man gave an answer that wasn't a candy bar at all. He decided he wanted a bag of Doritos, but he had a unique spelling: "Dreitoes". I was able to figure out what he meant.
Terry Schiavo was asked to go speak to the assistant principal, who we have given the name "Huggy Bear" to. Upon returning, he told me that he thought Huggy Bear was high. Quite an off the wall statement, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me.
Everybody did their work in second hour and I gave them all candy because the two teams tied in the review game. Candy Bar Man later told me that he didn't remember getting any candy from me. With most people, I would think it was a joke, but I wouldn't be surprised if he really did forget.
Third period was a mess. I had to get Cat Eyes (making her triumphant return) and Worm with Braids out of class right away because they were busy pushing. They ran and then came back.
The girl that called me "Big Sexy", who we will just call Big Sexy (she is big, but definitely not sexy), also didn't last long. She was sitting in the back and talking, and I told her to move to the front. She complained and took a good two minutes to get out of her seat. On her way to the front, she bumped into a boy (Stabbed with Pencil) and slapped him in the face. That was tht end of her day.
Whisper was back in rare form today, although I didn't kick him out. He came in and started complaining about how it was "bullshit" that I had promised him candy for three days if he was good and then "was a liar" because I didn't give him any. I gave him a check for his language, and he started complaining about how I picked on him and gave him checks even though he didn't do anything that other people didn't do. Later, another student made the statement that Whisper didn't get any pussy, and he responded, "I'd fuck your sister." I gave him a second check for that. He was amazed. I don't even know if he realized what he said. I know that he didn't realize how that could be construed as offensive.
I didn't really teach at all that period, and even blew my top a bit, telling my students to stop "acting like idiots." They were offended, but I quickly covered my tracks, saying that I didn't think they were idiots, they were simply "acting" like them. I lied.
I was pissed off at the beginning of fourth period. FOUR new students. FOUR kids that I have never seen before. I have been here less than two months. Since then, I have added 13 students to the roster in that class alone. It is ridiculous. I don't know how to teach when every week, I am getting kids that are starting totally fresh. I have no idea what background they have and I don't know how to even try to catch them up.
That class was pretty noisy, and I didn't get a whole lot done there either. I ended up teaching Prudence and a few others. Suit Man was angry today, but I think he was mad at the rest of the class and not me. I got a handshake so that made me feel a bit better.
Only four in my fifth period: Big Kid in Camo, TB, Skinny Kid in Camo, and a guy that never came much until recently. He is always smiling, so I'll call him "Happy". Big Kid was the only one that was driving me nuts again. He has made it very clear that he is dropping out soon and isn't going to work. I was able to bribe him to do work by offering candy. He quickly gave up after he tried to change an answer once I told him it was wrong. Two minutes later, he was back at it.
Every day, I try to look for one kid that gives me a reason to come back for another day. Today was Skinny Kid in Camo. He dominated the review game and is really learning. I was smiling the entire time. "Oh, I got dis. I got dis. I got dis," he would say as he jotted down his answer. By God, most of the time it was right, too! When he was walking out of the room at the end of the day, I called him back and was able to say two words to get a smile from him: "You're ready." I really think he is, too.
Homeroom was more of the same from earlier. The Big White Kid answered every question that I had. Jam Master Jay, who had tried to chew gum three times earlier in the day was loud and walking around. He ended up writing four checks today. That probably ties my record.
The Boy with the Tattooed Hands was back in my room for the end of the day with his mother. I think she was a bit appalled by how out of control my room was. She talked to me after class with her son, asking what was happening. I told her that when her son's behavior was out of line and I attempted to correct him, he grew angry with me and started swearing. When asked why, he said that he was angry. She also told me that he felt like I hated him and liked when he got in trouble. I told him that I didn't dislike him (which is true to a certain extent) and wanted to help him. At her request, the Boy with the Tattooed Hands gave me a half-hearted apology.
We had a meeting regarding testing after school today. I learned that I will be testing the regular ed 10th graders. There are nine of them. My lineup includes Step Six, The Both with the Tattooed Hands, the Great Black Hope, and The Rapist. Should be an interesting week.
Anyways, the lowlight of my day: When I returned to my room after a good Tae-Bo workout, I noticed that my flash drive was stolen from my computer. All of the PowerPoints, worksheets, and notes that I have made for the class were on it as well as some music and personal things that I wouldn't want any of my students reading. I have gotten stuff stolen from class before, but this really angers me. It was personal and important to me. I have spent countless hours on those things, and somebody stole it for no reason other than to make me angry. I forget what I am dealing with, but it never crossed my mind that somebody would steal that. I am guessing that is because it is something that I would never consider doing.
One of the hardest realizations that I have made here (and my uncle even mentioned it) is that almost (if not) every single one of these kids would stab me in the back. This school is a microcosm of society, except everything is greatly exaggerated.
I don't know how I am going to handle this latest incident tomorrow. I have no way of knowing who took it and I don't plan on ever getting it back. I wish that some of these pricks would know that I am only trying to help them and would atleast show me the basic human decency that should be extended to everyone. I suppose when you have no pride in yourself, it is hard to take pride in the work and efforts of others.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A Relaxer
This weekend has been pretty relaxing. Besides eating some fried oysters on Friday, I didn't really do much and was in bed before 11.
I worked for about four and a half hours on Saturday on some report that my uncle needs to have done by Tuesday. It was pretty interesting reading through some of the information I was entering into the computer. I learned that Candy Bar Man and Suit Man both scored at a second grade level on their mathematics test. I also learned that I type about twenty times faster than Slowhand.
The highlight of Saturday night was being able to cross off something else from my list: my first drive-thru daiquiri. That's right, they have drive-thru daiquiris in Louisiana. I think it is an incredibly bad idea, but I can't say that I didn't thoroughly enjoy it. I got to bed before midnight again and slept in this morning.
Today, we went to New Orleans to walk around the French Quarter. We went to the open air markets (no longer open air, but still very interesting). I bought a few things to bring home and an Einstein tie for school. I'm sure that none of my kids will have any idea who Einstein was. I saw a few street performers, although none were as good as the dancers from last time. I did see a leprechaun and a man dressed in all silver. We also saw a crazy old woman who hammered away on a keyboard and screamed. Got a good picture of her.
I enjoyed gumbo and oysters on the half-shell for lunch. I am really going to miss the food when I go back home.
Before we left, we drove around the city for a while and saw some of the hurricane damage for the first time. Some of the houses still have "X's" on them. Apparently, they were marked so others would know what was found inside. For example, "2F" would mean two females. A lot of the houses have been repaired, but we were able to still make out some of the marks. It is hard to believe that the city was under water. It is still really dirty there. Actually, everywhere I've been in Louisiana is a lot dirtier than things are in Wisconsin.
It was nice to have a pretty laid-back weekend. Next weekend is the Strawberry Festival. I know I can eat a lot of strawberries, so I am hoping there is another contest for that. For the record, my picture was in the paper twice for the oyster eating contest, so I am hoping to show my versatility when it comes to eating. Festival season is apparently almost over, so I'm going to have to make the most of it while it is still here.
I still have a bit of grading to do for tomorrow, but nothing major. It will be an interesting week with testing starting. I really hope I can atleast get somebody to pass.
I worked for about four and a half hours on Saturday on some report that my uncle needs to have done by Tuesday. It was pretty interesting reading through some of the information I was entering into the computer. I learned that Candy Bar Man and Suit Man both scored at a second grade level on their mathematics test. I also learned that I type about twenty times faster than Slowhand.
The highlight of Saturday night was being able to cross off something else from my list: my first drive-thru daiquiri. That's right, they have drive-thru daiquiris in Louisiana. I think it is an incredibly bad idea, but I can't say that I didn't thoroughly enjoy it. I got to bed before midnight again and slept in this morning.
Today, we went to New Orleans to walk around the French Quarter. We went to the open air markets (no longer open air, but still very interesting). I bought a few things to bring home and an Einstein tie for school. I'm sure that none of my kids will have any idea who Einstein was. I saw a few street performers, although none were as good as the dancers from last time. I did see a leprechaun and a man dressed in all silver. We also saw a crazy old woman who hammered away on a keyboard and screamed. Got a good picture of her.
I enjoyed gumbo and oysters on the half-shell for lunch. I am really going to miss the food when I go back home.
Before we left, we drove around the city for a while and saw some of the hurricane damage for the first time. Some of the houses still have "X's" on them. Apparently, they were marked so others would know what was found inside. For example, "2F" would mean two females. A lot of the houses have been repaired, but we were able to still make out some of the marks. It is hard to believe that the city was under water. It is still really dirty there. Actually, everywhere I've been in Louisiana is a lot dirtier than things are in Wisconsin.
It was nice to have a pretty laid-back weekend. Next weekend is the Strawberry Festival. I know I can eat a lot of strawberries, so I am hoping there is another contest for that. For the record, my picture was in the paper twice for the oyster eating contest, so I am hoping to show my versatility when it comes to eating. Festival season is apparently almost over, so I'm going to have to make the most of it while it is still here.
I still have a bit of grading to do for tomorrow, but nothing major. It will be an interesting week with testing starting. I really hope I can atleast get somebody to pass.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Day after the money rolls in...
Today I felt like a professional athlete that just signed a huge contract. I’ve noticed that often times after they get their big payday, their performance goes downhill. Today, I didn’t do a whole lot of teaching.
First period: Step Six was joined by his mother. I noticed that when he left the room to go to the bathroom, she stormed out after him and gave him a good tongue-lashing in the hallway. I actually thought he was alright today, atleast for him. He did seem to stick his feet out a couple of times when I was walking by and he even told me under his breath that I was lucky.
Teletubby needed to be moved again. He sure loves to talk. The biggest uproar in that class came when I put my foot in my mouth for the first time today. I told him that he needed to stop talking or the sergeants would run him until he weighed 30 pounds. He thought that I said, “Until you lose 30 pounds.” He took it as an insult and that I had called him fat. He is, but it wasn’t my intention. It probably wouldn’t have taken much running for him to lose that weight either. All he kept saying was, “Oh, Mr. C-------, you wrong for that. I’m gonna go call my momma.” Eventually he left the room to “go throw up” but came back and he let my statement go.
Second period: Apparently, today was the last day that I will have Miss Piggy in class. She came in, instantly complained about how musty the room was, and started talking to Linda Blair and the other girls in the back of the room. I moved her to the front. That’s when the complaining started. She began talking about how I didn’t know how to teach. I asked her what happened to her yesterday when I had printed off the notes for her. She continued to make excuses for her shortcomings and once again made the statement that I didn’t know how to teach. I told her that she didn’t know how to learn. She kept bickering about how she was going to go to the principal and tattle. At this point, Candy Bar Man grew angry with her and attempted to stand up for me. His intentions were probably noble, but I really didn’t need the assistance. I think he told her to shut her “stupid ass up”. I was able to calm them down enough to continue teaching.
I explained how to do the bell ringer, which involved painting a shed which was in the shape of a rectangular solid. When the new girl figured it out, I asked her if she had just learned something. When she agreed that she had, I asked her if I had taught it to her. She said, “Yes,” and I put my hand over my heart and said, “It’s a miracle. I taught somebody something,” and went around and gave a few high fives to my students. Miss Piggy was not one of them.
Miss Piggy had been requesting to go to the office to complain about me for several minutes. I knew that the State Department was going to be coming in today to do an evaluation of the school. As the man from the State came in, Miss Piggy repeated, “You don’t know how to teach.” At this point, I figured that it was a good time to get her out of there. I let her go to the office. She did complain to the principal. Apparently since she believes the science teacher can teach math better than I can, that teacher has the pleasure of having Miss Piggy in class twice every day. Of the three people involved, I guess two of the three ended up getting what they wanted.
After Miss Piggy was gone, my second period ran fairly smoothly. I let Linda Blair doodle on her folder in the back and I was able to teach the majority of the class. Candy Bar Man complained about not understanding what we were doing. As much as I love that kid, I know he isn’t going to pass his test. He is so low, probably at a first or second grade level. Today, all they needed to do was use a sheet with formulas on it and plug numbers into a calculator to find surface areas and volumes. It appeared to be beyond him. At any rate, I did give out candy in that class for the people who solved a problem we were working on. Candy Bar Man got it right before the horn sounded.
Third period: I spent the entire time teaching Worm with Braids while the rest of the students talked. I attempted to separate them as much as possible, but all they wanted to do was talk. Today I had an extra credit question on the board: What is a self-fulfilling prophecy? Nobody had any clue what it was. I thought it was most appropriate for that class, because I hear it more from that class than any other how I am a bad teacher and going to cause them to fail their test. Unfortunately for me, Cat Eyes was in FLC during my class. Hopefully, I will see her again on Monday.
I put my foot in my mouth again during third period. I had moved the students as best as I could and they were still talking. I went up to one of them and said, “I don’t even know where I could move you.” What I meant was that I had split up the problem students as much as possible, but she was still talking. Unfortunately, the rest of the class didn’t take it like that. She probably weighs 300 pounds and can’t even fit in a desk. They all burst out laughing. I tried to fight my smile, but I felt a bit better when I saw she was laughing as well. She is a biiiiig woman.
Fourth period was a bit frustrating once again. Half of the class seemed to be in a coma and I couldn’t get the other half to shut up. I had to pull Prudence in the hallway because a male student had said a few things about her and she turned around and looked like she was going to start talking to him. I told her to not worry about the others and focus on her goal, which was to pass and get back to her old school. After that, she kept her mouth shut.
I had a run in with Suit Man today. He was talking way too much, so I gave him a check. He thinks that because he calls himself my VP and because he can tell that I like him, he gets to do whatever he wants. He wrote the first check and told me he’d talk about it after class. A few minutes later when he continued to talk, I gave him check number two. This all occurred after other students had been complaining that I was favoring him. I gave Iron Mike a check for running her gap-toothed mouth as well as the new girl who has gotten the boot several times lately (we’ll call her Bulb because she switches on and off like nothing). Bulb got a check today after she was telling me that another teacher had told her testing should be done so students far below their 9th grade status could be in a more appropriate class. I agreed with her, but it wasn’t my decision, and I told her that it was what it was and we had to make the most of it. She then raised her voice and said, “I didn’t say that so you can just shut up.” Not sure where that came from, but I gave her a check.
Anyways, after Suit Man’s first check, he instantly looked angry but then flashed a grin. After his second, he was done. He looked dejected and sat back in his desk. I asked him a question and he told me that he didn’t care anymore and was done with math. I kicked him out of class. I believe that’s the first time I’ve gotten to that level with him. As much as he talks about God and religion (his dad is a minister), he doesn’t seem to practice what he preaches.
I don’t know who I got through to that class, but I do hope that somebody learned something. Some of them are so far behind that they are impossible to teach.
Fifth period: Four students today. Big Kid in Camo was back. Still no Ho Man. He must still be sleeping or looking for somebody to sleep with.
I had issues with Big Kid today. He wasn’t doing any work. He started talking and clowning around so I gave him a check. I also moved him away from everybody else. I ended up teaching the three of the four students in class. Big Kid in Camo has made me believe that the mandatory attendance law is stupid. He doesn’t care and isn’t going to work. I can’t make him.
The other three worked pretty diligently. I was pleased and got out the M&M’s. The only issue that I had today was actually with the Skinny Kid in Camo. I had asked a question and was helping another student. Skinny Kid had an answer and I checked it and noticed he made a mistake. I quickly gave him one hint and then went to check on another student. He flipped out. “Boy, when I fail my LEAP test, it’s gonna be your fault.” I was pretty shocked that he said that because a few minutes earlier, he told me that he was going to pass. I stopped class and had the following conversation with him.
ME: “So when you come here next Wednesday and start taking YOUR LEAP test, whose name is going to be on the sheet?”
HIM: “Mine is.”
ME: “And you are saying that if YOU fail the test with YOUR name on the cover that YOU will circle the answers that YOUR brain is telling YOU are correct, it’s going to be my fault?”
HIM: “Yes.”
ME: “Let me ask you a question. Why are you here?”
HIM: “I slapped a teacher.”ME: “And whose fault is that?”HIM: “His. He spit on me.”
ME: “Always somebody else’s fault. Here’s what I don’t understand. Five minutes ago, you told me that you were going to pass your LEAP test. Because you made one mistake on one problem, suddenly you are going to fail your LEAP test. And that’s why you fail. Because you give up after one mistake. Don’t be a quitter.”
I went on to show him the mistake he had made. He multiplied by four instead of two. It took me five seconds to explain it.
I then asked him if he passed his LEAP test, who should get the credit. He told me that I should. I quickly corrected him, saying that if he passes, it will be because he learned the material, not because I taught it to him. I also made sure that he knew that if he failed the LEAP test, it would be because he didn’t learn the material, not because I didn’t teach to him.
I saw Skinny Kid in Camo after school. I asked him how he was going to do on his LEAP test. He told me that he knew he was going to pass. That made me feel a bit better.
Homeroom: Teletubby was busy talking away, so I decided to not only move his desk against the wall, but to turn it so he couldn’t look at the other students. I made him copy down formulas that are on the wall. Surprisingly, he actually did what he was told.
Step Six was still with his mother. I told several people that I was taking pictures for the yearbook, so I got some nice shots. Step Six went from telling me that he’d break my camera if I took a picture of him to posing with a bunch of girls. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the same guy that let another student borrow his debit card.
Most of the class was really noisy and I ended up teaching trigonometric ratios (sine, cosine, and tangent) to three students. I didn’t hear what he said, but Step Six’s mother got out of her seat and yanked him out of there in a hurry. Apparently, he had cursed at her. They were in the hallway causing quite a scene.
For the last five minutes of class, I put some problems on the board dealing with trig ratios and saw who could answer them. As expected, the three that I was teaching mopped the floor with everybody else. Teletubby kept telling me that I should let him try some questions. I did. He didn’t get anything correct. No candy for him.
After class, I saw Step Six’s mother absolutely tearing him apart. She ended up leaving and he was resigned to a chair. He still had trouble sitting still and even more trouble keeping his mouth shut. It is only a matter of time before he is expelled. They can only play the “he just changed his meds” card for so long.
I also learned that the police had been called to the school today. Apparently, the hardass sergeant had said something to one of the female students that offended her. Her mother came to NHS and threatened the sergeant, then called her biker boyfriend who wanted to fight him. I wish I could have seen it. I am a pretty big guy and think I could hold my own, but I know that threatening that guy would be digging my own grave.
Only two days of teaching next week and I will not be introducing any new material. I am really interested to see how testing goes, because we are supposed to have something like 32 teachers administering the tests due to all of the special needs students in our school. I think we may have 15 to proctor the tests.
I also know that the school will change drastically when testing is over. Attendance will go down and I think I might actually be able to really teach. Hopefully at that point, it will give me a better idea if this is something that can develop into a career as opposed to just a really great life experience.
First period: Step Six was joined by his mother. I noticed that when he left the room to go to the bathroom, she stormed out after him and gave him a good tongue-lashing in the hallway. I actually thought he was alright today, atleast for him. He did seem to stick his feet out a couple of times when I was walking by and he even told me under his breath that I was lucky.
Teletubby needed to be moved again. He sure loves to talk. The biggest uproar in that class came when I put my foot in my mouth for the first time today. I told him that he needed to stop talking or the sergeants would run him until he weighed 30 pounds. He thought that I said, “Until you lose 30 pounds.” He took it as an insult and that I had called him fat. He is, but it wasn’t my intention. It probably wouldn’t have taken much running for him to lose that weight either. All he kept saying was, “Oh, Mr. C-------, you wrong for that. I’m gonna go call my momma.” Eventually he left the room to “go throw up” but came back and he let my statement go.
Second period: Apparently, today was the last day that I will have Miss Piggy in class. She came in, instantly complained about how musty the room was, and started talking to Linda Blair and the other girls in the back of the room. I moved her to the front. That’s when the complaining started. She began talking about how I didn’t know how to teach. I asked her what happened to her yesterday when I had printed off the notes for her. She continued to make excuses for her shortcomings and once again made the statement that I didn’t know how to teach. I told her that she didn’t know how to learn. She kept bickering about how she was going to go to the principal and tattle. At this point, Candy Bar Man grew angry with her and attempted to stand up for me. His intentions were probably noble, but I really didn’t need the assistance. I think he told her to shut her “stupid ass up”. I was able to calm them down enough to continue teaching.
I explained how to do the bell ringer, which involved painting a shed which was in the shape of a rectangular solid. When the new girl figured it out, I asked her if she had just learned something. When she agreed that she had, I asked her if I had taught it to her. She said, “Yes,” and I put my hand over my heart and said, “It’s a miracle. I taught somebody something,” and went around and gave a few high fives to my students. Miss Piggy was not one of them.
Miss Piggy had been requesting to go to the office to complain about me for several minutes. I knew that the State Department was going to be coming in today to do an evaluation of the school. As the man from the State came in, Miss Piggy repeated, “You don’t know how to teach.” At this point, I figured that it was a good time to get her out of there. I let her go to the office. She did complain to the principal. Apparently since she believes the science teacher can teach math better than I can, that teacher has the pleasure of having Miss Piggy in class twice every day. Of the three people involved, I guess two of the three ended up getting what they wanted.
After Miss Piggy was gone, my second period ran fairly smoothly. I let Linda Blair doodle on her folder in the back and I was able to teach the majority of the class. Candy Bar Man complained about not understanding what we were doing. As much as I love that kid, I know he isn’t going to pass his test. He is so low, probably at a first or second grade level. Today, all they needed to do was use a sheet with formulas on it and plug numbers into a calculator to find surface areas and volumes. It appeared to be beyond him. At any rate, I did give out candy in that class for the people who solved a problem we were working on. Candy Bar Man got it right before the horn sounded.
Third period: I spent the entire time teaching Worm with Braids while the rest of the students talked. I attempted to separate them as much as possible, but all they wanted to do was talk. Today I had an extra credit question on the board: What is a self-fulfilling prophecy? Nobody had any clue what it was. I thought it was most appropriate for that class, because I hear it more from that class than any other how I am a bad teacher and going to cause them to fail their test. Unfortunately for me, Cat Eyes was in FLC during my class. Hopefully, I will see her again on Monday.
I put my foot in my mouth again during third period. I had moved the students as best as I could and they were still talking. I went up to one of them and said, “I don’t even know where I could move you.” What I meant was that I had split up the problem students as much as possible, but she was still talking. Unfortunately, the rest of the class didn’t take it like that. She probably weighs 300 pounds and can’t even fit in a desk. They all burst out laughing. I tried to fight my smile, but I felt a bit better when I saw she was laughing as well. She is a biiiiig woman.
Fourth period was a bit frustrating once again. Half of the class seemed to be in a coma and I couldn’t get the other half to shut up. I had to pull Prudence in the hallway because a male student had said a few things about her and she turned around and looked like she was going to start talking to him. I told her to not worry about the others and focus on her goal, which was to pass and get back to her old school. After that, she kept her mouth shut.
I had a run in with Suit Man today. He was talking way too much, so I gave him a check. He thinks that because he calls himself my VP and because he can tell that I like him, he gets to do whatever he wants. He wrote the first check and told me he’d talk about it after class. A few minutes later when he continued to talk, I gave him check number two. This all occurred after other students had been complaining that I was favoring him. I gave Iron Mike a check for running her gap-toothed mouth as well as the new girl who has gotten the boot several times lately (we’ll call her Bulb because she switches on and off like nothing). Bulb got a check today after she was telling me that another teacher had told her testing should be done so students far below their 9th grade status could be in a more appropriate class. I agreed with her, but it wasn’t my decision, and I told her that it was what it was and we had to make the most of it. She then raised her voice and said, “I didn’t say that so you can just shut up.” Not sure where that came from, but I gave her a check.
Anyways, after Suit Man’s first check, he instantly looked angry but then flashed a grin. After his second, he was done. He looked dejected and sat back in his desk. I asked him a question and he told me that he didn’t care anymore and was done with math. I kicked him out of class. I believe that’s the first time I’ve gotten to that level with him. As much as he talks about God and religion (his dad is a minister), he doesn’t seem to practice what he preaches.
I don’t know who I got through to that class, but I do hope that somebody learned something. Some of them are so far behind that they are impossible to teach.
Fifth period: Four students today. Big Kid in Camo was back. Still no Ho Man. He must still be sleeping or looking for somebody to sleep with.
I had issues with Big Kid today. He wasn’t doing any work. He started talking and clowning around so I gave him a check. I also moved him away from everybody else. I ended up teaching the three of the four students in class. Big Kid in Camo has made me believe that the mandatory attendance law is stupid. He doesn’t care and isn’t going to work. I can’t make him.
The other three worked pretty diligently. I was pleased and got out the M&M’s. The only issue that I had today was actually with the Skinny Kid in Camo. I had asked a question and was helping another student. Skinny Kid had an answer and I checked it and noticed he made a mistake. I quickly gave him one hint and then went to check on another student. He flipped out. “Boy, when I fail my LEAP test, it’s gonna be your fault.” I was pretty shocked that he said that because a few minutes earlier, he told me that he was going to pass. I stopped class and had the following conversation with him.
ME: “So when you come here next Wednesday and start taking YOUR LEAP test, whose name is going to be on the sheet?”
HIM: “Mine is.”
ME: “And you are saying that if YOU fail the test with YOUR name on the cover that YOU will circle the answers that YOUR brain is telling YOU are correct, it’s going to be my fault?”
HIM: “Yes.”
ME: “Let me ask you a question. Why are you here?”
HIM: “I slapped a teacher.”ME: “And whose fault is that?”HIM: “His. He spit on me.”
ME: “Always somebody else’s fault. Here’s what I don’t understand. Five minutes ago, you told me that you were going to pass your LEAP test. Because you made one mistake on one problem, suddenly you are going to fail your LEAP test. And that’s why you fail. Because you give up after one mistake. Don’t be a quitter.”
I went on to show him the mistake he had made. He multiplied by four instead of two. It took me five seconds to explain it.
I then asked him if he passed his LEAP test, who should get the credit. He told me that I should. I quickly corrected him, saying that if he passes, it will be because he learned the material, not because I taught it to him. I also made sure that he knew that if he failed the LEAP test, it would be because he didn’t learn the material, not because I didn’t teach to him.
I saw Skinny Kid in Camo after school. I asked him how he was going to do on his LEAP test. He told me that he knew he was going to pass. That made me feel a bit better.
Homeroom: Teletubby was busy talking away, so I decided to not only move his desk against the wall, but to turn it so he couldn’t look at the other students. I made him copy down formulas that are on the wall. Surprisingly, he actually did what he was told.
Step Six was still with his mother. I told several people that I was taking pictures for the yearbook, so I got some nice shots. Step Six went from telling me that he’d break my camera if I took a picture of him to posing with a bunch of girls. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the same guy that let another student borrow his debit card.
Most of the class was really noisy and I ended up teaching trigonometric ratios (sine, cosine, and tangent) to three students. I didn’t hear what he said, but Step Six’s mother got out of her seat and yanked him out of there in a hurry. Apparently, he had cursed at her. They were in the hallway causing quite a scene.
For the last five minutes of class, I put some problems on the board dealing with trig ratios and saw who could answer them. As expected, the three that I was teaching mopped the floor with everybody else. Teletubby kept telling me that I should let him try some questions. I did. He didn’t get anything correct. No candy for him.
After class, I saw Step Six’s mother absolutely tearing him apart. She ended up leaving and he was resigned to a chair. He still had trouble sitting still and even more trouble keeping his mouth shut. It is only a matter of time before he is expelled. They can only play the “he just changed his meds” card for so long.
I also learned that the police had been called to the school today. Apparently, the hardass sergeant had said something to one of the female students that offended her. Her mother came to NHS and threatened the sergeant, then called her biker boyfriend who wanted to fight him. I wish I could have seen it. I am a pretty big guy and think I could hold my own, but I know that threatening that guy would be digging my own grave.
Only two days of teaching next week and I will not be introducing any new material. I am really interested to see how testing goes, because we are supposed to have something like 32 teachers administering the tests due to all of the special needs students in our school. I think we may have 15 to proctor the tests.
I also know that the school will change drastically when testing is over. Attendance will go down and I think I might actually be able to really teach. Hopefully at that point, it will give me a better idea if this is something that can develop into a career as opposed to just a really great life experience.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Payday!
I checked my mailbox upon arriving home and I finally got paid! It makes this job a little more reasonable. A little.
Now it's time to pay back all the people to whom I owe money.
Now it's time to pay back all the people to whom I owe money.
Even if you've failed twice...
Today I felt like I earned a bit of respect.
It was storming today and the power was out in several of the small towns that we drive through to come to the school. Attendance was low.
First period went relatively smoothly. I only had 12 students as opposed to the 16 or 18 I usually see. I essentially taught about 5 of them and ignored the other 7. Teletubby and Lady Cheaterly were chatting away and arguing, so I moved Teletubby in the far back corner of the room. He attempted to talk again and I moved him against the wall. It was pretty funny but also effective. He pouted for the remainder of the period bud didn’t cause any more distractions, so I was satisfied.
Second period was alright as well. I saw Candy Bar Man lined up with his buddy at the sergeant’s door. Apparently, they got into some trouble and had to go outside and run. I looked at him with resentment in my eyes and he just shrugged his shoulders.
Miss Piggy was the only issue that I had with my second class, but she slept through most of it once again. I took a picture of her fat face as she was sawing lumber. A minute later, she said, “I know you didn’t take a picture of me.” I said, “Good. You must have been awake if you knew that.” She complained about how I don’t teach and don’t care. I told her I would print off some extra notes for her to look at. I said I’d have them after lunch. She never came in.
Anyways, I moved her to the back of the room to sleep and not disrupt the rest of the class, so that is what she did. Can’t polish a turd.
The new girl that got the boot yesterday was complaining about a stomach ache. She was lying on the floor because the desk hurt her stomach. I made her sit in a seat next to a desk. She ended up sprawled out on the chair and desk. Oh well.
Terry Schiavo was out of it once again. He dozed off for a while, and then stared at the wall. I asked him if he had an on/off switch and he said, “Yes, sir.” I asked him how to turn him on. He was taken aback by that a bit. I can’t say I got much teaching in my second hour because they were slow and uninspired, but I didn’t break much of a sweat either.
Today, third period was the class I’ll remember forever. The bell ringer dealt with finding the shortest distance between first and third base. To solve the problem, we used the Pythagorean Theorem. This girl, who is usually going at it with Worm with Braids, started complaining. She wears these weird contact lenses that make it look like she has cat eyes, so we’ll just call her “Cat Eyes”. Cat Eyes began complaining about how she had asked for help yesterday and I refused to offer assistance. She told me that I didn’t know how to teach and if she failed her LEAP test, it would be because of me. I didn’t let it bother me. Instead, I humiliated her.
I knew that Cat Eyes had taken the LEAP test before. Twice, in fact. I asked her. She admitted that she had. I asked whose fault it was the other two times that she took it and failed. She told me that the other teachers had atleast tried to help her, so then it was her fault, but this year would be my fault. I asked her once again if she had failed it before. “Yes,” was the response.
I turned to the board and began explaining how to do the bell ringer. I prefaced it by saying, “So whether this is your first time taking the LEAP test or if you’ve failed it twice before, you need to know how to do the Pythagorean Theorem.” The class burst out laughing, and Cat Eyes started complaining. I didn’t acknowledge her complaints, instead calling on her. I asked how to do part of the problem. She didn’t know. I asked her a different question. Once again, no response.
I turned and answered my own question, telling the class that whether this was their first time taking the test or even if they had failed twice before, they needed to know how to solve the problem. She called me a “stupid ass”. I let it roll off my back and I asked her another question. She responded by yelling, “I don’t know. Maybe if you’d teach me…”
I turned to the entire class, and said, “Class, now I am going to be ‘teaching’ you how to do the Pythagorean Theorem.” As I said the word “teaching”, I bent my knees and extended my arms. Once again, the class began laughing. I made a couple of points and then was once again interrupted by the complaints of Cat Eyes. I asked her to stop, because I was ‘teaching’ her how to solve a problem that she would need to pass. With the word, I bent my knees and extended my arms. More laughter.
This went on for maybe two minutes. I made sure to point out several times that whether they “had never taken the LEAP test before or failed it twice”, they needed to know how to do what I was “teaching” them. I must have said “teaching” atleast ten times. Every time, I left the class in stitches. I was writing something on the board when Cat Eyes leapt out of her seat and approached me quickly. She must have been moving pretty quickly because the class yelled my name, perhaps fearful that she was going to attack me. I turned around and she headed for the door, making sure to give me the bird before she left. I later heard from the security woman that she was in tears. I wish I could have seen them. Even so, I’m still smiling thinking about it.
Immediately after Cat Eyes left, I turned to the class, told them that I was going to continue ‘teaching’ them to get them ready to pass their test. Some began laughing so hard they were almost in tears. One boy said that he thought it was awesome and I just earned his respect. Every time anybody in that class started talking for the rest of the period, I asked them if they had taken their LEAP test before with a smile. They know that I can take it and dish it out now. I won that round.
Another girl in that class began getting on my nerves as well. She was the one who once called me “Big Sexy”, so she is not only bad at math but also has bad taste in men. Today, she began talking in the back of the room. I asked her if she ever did any gardening. She told me that she does on occasion. I asked her about removing weeds and getting them away from the flowers and plants that you want to see grow. I asked her if she was a weed or a flower. Two minutes later, I told her that she must be a weed because she wouldn’t shut up. I moved her away from the kids that I thought had a chance to pass.
Worm with Braids actually asked me for extra work today. I am in shock.
I was still beaming after lunch. My fourth period was lined up and I saw Candy Bar Man peeking his head into the room across the hall. He was looking at a girl. I can’t blame him for trying, but he was causing a commotion so I gave him a check. I told him that I was disappointed in him because I had gone to bat for him. He wrote it without saying much. He said he’d be in class tomorrow. That remains to be seen.
Another near fight in fourth period today. Prudence (who I must have named too soon because that description doesn’t fit her at all) raised her hand to ask a question. She asked me if I knew anybody who thought they were all that but really wasn’t. Then she turned around and said, “Like those two,” as she pointed to Iron Mike and Pregnant Girl. I gave her a check and she looked like she was about to cry. I told her to write it and wait until after class. She kept trying to get a word in, but I wouldn’t let her. “Write it and wait until after class,” I interrupted. After about five attempts, she was quiet and doing her work.
Suit Man was attempting to butter me up. I kept telling him I wasn’t a straw. He never did figure out what I meant. I said, “Stop sucking up.” Oddly enough, I was about to give him a check for chewing gum when I discovered he was actually chewing on a straw.
Class was going pretty smoothly. I was helping a student with a problem, when all of a sudden, Prudence and Iron Mike started talking to one another again. I’m not sure what Prudence said, but it was something about Iron Mike’s mother. Iron Mike responded with, “Well, atleast I know who my mother is.” Pretty good comeback, but a bit below the belt. When Prudence looked like she was about to rise up from her chair, I got her out of the room, then showed Iron Mike the door as well.
I was outside the room talking to the security lady with a disciplinary referral in my hand. I could hear Suit Man jawing about something. I walked in and handed him a check without saying a word. Towards the end of the class, I gave a check to Tony Montana as well. He was standing out of his seat for no reason and was in no hurry to sit back down when I asked him to. I told him that even though he thought he was a smart guy, I was smarter. He wasn’t going to outsmart me.
After class, both Suit Man and Prudence attempted to refute their checks. I told Suit Man no because he continued talking after he got the check. He seemed alright.
I am coming to the conclusion that Prudence is a fraud and an idiot. She told me that she thought the check should be taken back because she “didn’t do anything”. I chuckled and asked if she was serious. She was.
I explained to her how she had instigated the issues by asking the question. I asked her how she would have felt had I said the exact same thing about her. She said, “I’d be disappointed in myself.” Same thing she said after her test. I think she needs a new line.
Then I told her that the purpose of the checks was to redirect behavior. She didn’t learn from her mistake and had another verbal altercation with a student. I told her that she couldn’t let two girls that she didn’t like ruin her attitude and her chance of getting out of the school.
As she was leaving the room, she asked if she could please have one more chance. I told her she’d get another chance tomorrow. I kept the check in my pocket.
I noticed between passing time that I had never collected the check from Tony Montana. I raced down the hallway and walked into his next class and gave him one. “Oh man,” he said as he filled it out. I took the check, pointed at my head and smiled.
As I was returning to my doorway again, I noticed that Slowhand was kicking out two of the three students I had for fifth period today. I don’t know how I am supposed to get these kids to pass their test if they are outside running for talking in the hallway.
Anyways, it was me and the student who once called me a “crazy nigger”. He hasn’t been in class for weeks. Skinny Kid in Camo and another kid were outside. Ho Man probably had no power at his house. With no alarm, he is probably still sleeping.
I attempted to teach Crazy the bell ringer. It took me probably 30 minutes. It is pretty easy to get behind in math and he had no clue on anything. The other two returned as I was finishing up with him. Skinny Kid in Camo figured out the problem in one minute, maybe two.
That class went pretty well. I gave them all M&M’s at the end for working hard. I hope some of my other favorites are back tomorrow.
Homeroom was better today. I gave up on trying to save everybody. I ended up teaching the Great Black Hope and Big White Kid some more applications of the Pythagorean Theorem. I let the others talk quietly. My face wasn’t nearly as red today as it was yesterday.
After school, I was walking down the hallway when I saw Candy Bar Man come in for a drink of water. I had the camera out and he struck a pose. It was very befitting of his personality. I smiled and showed him the picture. Mr. C---ayyyne, one more thing…Can I please have some candy?” I looked at him with disbelief. “I need it, man.” I told him that I needed to have him in class doing his math. Then maybe he could get some candy. “Alright, Mr. C---ayyyne,” he said with a hint of resignation as he walked away. Nice try, Candy Bar Man.
Much better day today overall. Very few checks. I ended up writing a disciplinary referral for Cat Eyes because the security lady told me to, but I didn’t really care to get her in trouble anyways. I hope she is in my class tomorrow. It’ll be interesting to see how she behaves. At any rate, I will do my best to “teach” whether or not my students are taking their LEAP test for the first time or even if they've failed twice before.
It was storming today and the power was out in several of the small towns that we drive through to come to the school. Attendance was low.
First period went relatively smoothly. I only had 12 students as opposed to the 16 or 18 I usually see. I essentially taught about 5 of them and ignored the other 7. Teletubby and Lady Cheaterly were chatting away and arguing, so I moved Teletubby in the far back corner of the room. He attempted to talk again and I moved him against the wall. It was pretty funny but also effective. He pouted for the remainder of the period bud didn’t cause any more distractions, so I was satisfied.
Second period was alright as well. I saw Candy Bar Man lined up with his buddy at the sergeant’s door. Apparently, they got into some trouble and had to go outside and run. I looked at him with resentment in my eyes and he just shrugged his shoulders.
Miss Piggy was the only issue that I had with my second class, but she slept through most of it once again. I took a picture of her fat face as she was sawing lumber. A minute later, she said, “I know you didn’t take a picture of me.” I said, “Good. You must have been awake if you knew that.” She complained about how I don’t teach and don’t care. I told her I would print off some extra notes for her to look at. I said I’d have them after lunch. She never came in.
Anyways, I moved her to the back of the room to sleep and not disrupt the rest of the class, so that is what she did. Can’t polish a turd.
The new girl that got the boot yesterday was complaining about a stomach ache. She was lying on the floor because the desk hurt her stomach. I made her sit in a seat next to a desk. She ended up sprawled out on the chair and desk. Oh well.
Terry Schiavo was out of it once again. He dozed off for a while, and then stared at the wall. I asked him if he had an on/off switch and he said, “Yes, sir.” I asked him how to turn him on. He was taken aback by that a bit. I can’t say I got much teaching in my second hour because they were slow and uninspired, but I didn’t break much of a sweat either.
Today, third period was the class I’ll remember forever. The bell ringer dealt with finding the shortest distance between first and third base. To solve the problem, we used the Pythagorean Theorem. This girl, who is usually going at it with Worm with Braids, started complaining. She wears these weird contact lenses that make it look like she has cat eyes, so we’ll just call her “Cat Eyes”. Cat Eyes began complaining about how she had asked for help yesterday and I refused to offer assistance. She told me that I didn’t know how to teach and if she failed her LEAP test, it would be because of me. I didn’t let it bother me. Instead, I humiliated her.
I knew that Cat Eyes had taken the LEAP test before. Twice, in fact. I asked her. She admitted that she had. I asked whose fault it was the other two times that she took it and failed. She told me that the other teachers had atleast tried to help her, so then it was her fault, but this year would be my fault. I asked her once again if she had failed it before. “Yes,” was the response.
I turned to the board and began explaining how to do the bell ringer. I prefaced it by saying, “So whether this is your first time taking the LEAP test or if you’ve failed it twice before, you need to know how to do the Pythagorean Theorem.” The class burst out laughing, and Cat Eyes started complaining. I didn’t acknowledge her complaints, instead calling on her. I asked how to do part of the problem. She didn’t know. I asked her a different question. Once again, no response.
I turned and answered my own question, telling the class that whether this was their first time taking the test or even if they had failed twice before, they needed to know how to solve the problem. She called me a “stupid ass”. I let it roll off my back and I asked her another question. She responded by yelling, “I don’t know. Maybe if you’d teach me…”
I turned to the entire class, and said, “Class, now I am going to be ‘teaching’ you how to do the Pythagorean Theorem.” As I said the word “teaching”, I bent my knees and extended my arms. Once again, the class began laughing. I made a couple of points and then was once again interrupted by the complaints of Cat Eyes. I asked her to stop, because I was ‘teaching’ her how to solve a problem that she would need to pass. With the word, I bent my knees and extended my arms. More laughter.
This went on for maybe two minutes. I made sure to point out several times that whether they “had never taken the LEAP test before or failed it twice”, they needed to know how to do what I was “teaching” them. I must have said “teaching” atleast ten times. Every time, I left the class in stitches. I was writing something on the board when Cat Eyes leapt out of her seat and approached me quickly. She must have been moving pretty quickly because the class yelled my name, perhaps fearful that she was going to attack me. I turned around and she headed for the door, making sure to give me the bird before she left. I later heard from the security woman that she was in tears. I wish I could have seen them. Even so, I’m still smiling thinking about it.
Immediately after Cat Eyes left, I turned to the class, told them that I was going to continue ‘teaching’ them to get them ready to pass their test. Some began laughing so hard they were almost in tears. One boy said that he thought it was awesome and I just earned his respect. Every time anybody in that class started talking for the rest of the period, I asked them if they had taken their LEAP test before with a smile. They know that I can take it and dish it out now. I won that round.
Another girl in that class began getting on my nerves as well. She was the one who once called me “Big Sexy”, so she is not only bad at math but also has bad taste in men. Today, she began talking in the back of the room. I asked her if she ever did any gardening. She told me that she does on occasion. I asked her about removing weeds and getting them away from the flowers and plants that you want to see grow. I asked her if she was a weed or a flower. Two minutes later, I told her that she must be a weed because she wouldn’t shut up. I moved her away from the kids that I thought had a chance to pass.
Worm with Braids actually asked me for extra work today. I am in shock.
I was still beaming after lunch. My fourth period was lined up and I saw Candy Bar Man peeking his head into the room across the hall. He was looking at a girl. I can’t blame him for trying, but he was causing a commotion so I gave him a check. I told him that I was disappointed in him because I had gone to bat for him. He wrote it without saying much. He said he’d be in class tomorrow. That remains to be seen.
Another near fight in fourth period today. Prudence (who I must have named too soon because that description doesn’t fit her at all) raised her hand to ask a question. She asked me if I knew anybody who thought they were all that but really wasn’t. Then she turned around and said, “Like those two,” as she pointed to Iron Mike and Pregnant Girl. I gave her a check and she looked like she was about to cry. I told her to write it and wait until after class. She kept trying to get a word in, but I wouldn’t let her. “Write it and wait until after class,” I interrupted. After about five attempts, she was quiet and doing her work.
Suit Man was attempting to butter me up. I kept telling him I wasn’t a straw. He never did figure out what I meant. I said, “Stop sucking up.” Oddly enough, I was about to give him a check for chewing gum when I discovered he was actually chewing on a straw.
Class was going pretty smoothly. I was helping a student with a problem, when all of a sudden, Prudence and Iron Mike started talking to one another again. I’m not sure what Prudence said, but it was something about Iron Mike’s mother. Iron Mike responded with, “Well, atleast I know who my mother is.” Pretty good comeback, but a bit below the belt. When Prudence looked like she was about to rise up from her chair, I got her out of the room, then showed Iron Mike the door as well.
I was outside the room talking to the security lady with a disciplinary referral in my hand. I could hear Suit Man jawing about something. I walked in and handed him a check without saying a word. Towards the end of the class, I gave a check to Tony Montana as well. He was standing out of his seat for no reason and was in no hurry to sit back down when I asked him to. I told him that even though he thought he was a smart guy, I was smarter. He wasn’t going to outsmart me.
After class, both Suit Man and Prudence attempted to refute their checks. I told Suit Man no because he continued talking after he got the check. He seemed alright.
I am coming to the conclusion that Prudence is a fraud and an idiot. She told me that she thought the check should be taken back because she “didn’t do anything”. I chuckled and asked if she was serious. She was.
I explained to her how she had instigated the issues by asking the question. I asked her how she would have felt had I said the exact same thing about her. She said, “I’d be disappointed in myself.” Same thing she said after her test. I think she needs a new line.
Then I told her that the purpose of the checks was to redirect behavior. She didn’t learn from her mistake and had another verbal altercation with a student. I told her that she couldn’t let two girls that she didn’t like ruin her attitude and her chance of getting out of the school.
As she was leaving the room, she asked if she could please have one more chance. I told her she’d get another chance tomorrow. I kept the check in my pocket.
I noticed between passing time that I had never collected the check from Tony Montana. I raced down the hallway and walked into his next class and gave him one. “Oh man,” he said as he filled it out. I took the check, pointed at my head and smiled.
As I was returning to my doorway again, I noticed that Slowhand was kicking out two of the three students I had for fifth period today. I don’t know how I am supposed to get these kids to pass their test if they are outside running for talking in the hallway.
Anyways, it was me and the student who once called me a “crazy nigger”. He hasn’t been in class for weeks. Skinny Kid in Camo and another kid were outside. Ho Man probably had no power at his house. With no alarm, he is probably still sleeping.
I attempted to teach Crazy the bell ringer. It took me probably 30 minutes. It is pretty easy to get behind in math and he had no clue on anything. The other two returned as I was finishing up with him. Skinny Kid in Camo figured out the problem in one minute, maybe two.
That class went pretty well. I gave them all M&M’s at the end for working hard. I hope some of my other favorites are back tomorrow.
Homeroom was better today. I gave up on trying to save everybody. I ended up teaching the Great Black Hope and Big White Kid some more applications of the Pythagorean Theorem. I let the others talk quietly. My face wasn’t nearly as red today as it was yesterday.
After school, I was walking down the hallway when I saw Candy Bar Man come in for a drink of water. I had the camera out and he struck a pose. It was very befitting of his personality. I smiled and showed him the picture. Mr. C---ayyyne, one more thing…Can I please have some candy?” I looked at him with disbelief. “I need it, man.” I told him that I needed to have him in class doing his math. Then maybe he could get some candy. “Alright, Mr. C---ayyyne,” he said with a hint of resignation as he walked away. Nice try, Candy Bar Man.
Much better day today overall. Very few checks. I ended up writing a disciplinary referral for Cat Eyes because the security lady told me to, but I didn’t really care to get her in trouble anyways. I hope she is in my class tomorrow. It’ll be interesting to see how she behaves. At any rate, I will do my best to “teach” whether or not my students are taking their LEAP test for the first time or even if they've failed twice before.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Stop trying to change the world
Another day of frustration for me.
My first period went pretty well. I was surprised to see Step Six lined up first at my door. His extremely large mother was standing behind him, so I knew he would be putting on another act. Fine by me.
That class ran fairly smoothly. I was teaching the Pythagorean Theorem (a squared plus b squared equals c squared) for the first time today, and those kids seemed to catch on pretty quickly. The only girl that gave me any issues in first period was Rosie. I had a letter that she was supposed to give to her parents. Of course, she opened it up after I had told her not to, and then she kept complaining about how she needed to go to the office. That little tub has a really smart mouth, and I think after all was said and done, I made her write four checks.
Second period was a bit of a struggle as well. Terry Schiavo once again failed to bring a pencil or a pulse to class. He was half-asleep for most of class. Miss Piggy and Linda Blair were sleeping too. I got some nice pictures of them dozing off.
One of the new girls started giving me problems. She was busy talking in the back of the room, so I decided to move her to the front. She said she wasn’t going to move. I told her that she would either move to the front or out in the hallway. I resumed teaching.
A couple of minutes later, she was still in her seat and I grew agitated. I told her to move. She still wasn’t budging, so I kicked her out. I thought that was the end of the problem.
A few minutes later, she came back with her check filled out and told me that the security lady told her to fill it out and return to class. She gave it to me and then said, “So shut up,” under her breath. I wasn’t sure if I really heard that so I continued teaching. A minute later, I looked back and saw that she was still in her desk. I told her again to move to the front. She said she would but continued to complain. After she had her back turned and continued talking, I got her out of there for good.
My favorite aspect of class was probably Miss Piggy. I have never seen a more tired group of kids than those at NHS. She slept the entire hour. I brought out the camera and got a nice shot of her with her face buried in her arms. The entire class started laughing. Then the air horn went off and everybody got up to move to their next class. This is not a quiet procedure. The air horn usually startles me a bit and my kids don’t whisper. She remained asleep for a good two minutes afterwards. Finally, I yelled her name and she got up. I’m sure tomorrow she will complain that I am a terrible teacher and don’t know how to do my job.
Speaking of being a terrible teacher, I heard plenty of that during third period. The class was loud as usual. Worm with Braids was the one that did me in. He was doodling on his board and I told him to do his work. He continued to draw, so I gave him a check. He tossed it aside and said, “I ain’t writin’ this unless you hand it to me the right way.” I didn’t know what that meant, but I grabbed it and gave it back to him and said, “Write it for ten.” He wrote it for five, then he told me that he couldn’t wait until the school board came in and saw how horrible I was at teaching so I would get fired. I got him out of there. A few minutes later, he came back in and started talking again. I didn’t even give him time to get comfortable in his seat before I sent him back outside to run some more. I literally can not stand that kid. There is no other way to describe him but a punk and a waste of life. On a happy note, Whisper made it through the entire period today. He even wrote a check for another student. Again, he asked for candy at the end of the class. I told him, “Maybe tomorrow.”
After that class, the math coach, who had been in my room the entire time, told me that I have the patience of Job and that she would have lost it. I don’t know how I can keep it together.
Fourth period was a bit of a struggle as well. The girl who got kicked out yesterday got the boot again today. Half of the LEAP test is calculator-based and I haven’t covered much with them, so I brought out the calculators today. I asked random questions to see if they knew how to find the keys and compute things. Suit Man was actually quick with his calculator. With one response, he correctly answered more questions today than he did on his 27-problem test. This caused the girl to come unglued. “I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO FINISH THE PROBLEM!” I told her that I’d give her time to finish it. After a smart response, she got a check. More backtalk and I doubled the amount. After more complaining about how much she disliked me and the school and I got her back out of the room.
I was busy writing up the referral form when Iron Mike called me mean. I smiled as I gave her a check. Then her friend, who is pregnant, started talking smack with Prudence. She said she would come over and beat Prudence’s ass. I didn’t hear what Prudence said, but I caught the tail end: “…and the baby inside you.” That statement caused Pregnant Girl to leave her seat. I got both of them out of the room quickly and separated. Prudence seemed pretty worried about getting in trouble. I can’t imagine her in a fight. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight.
I ended up kicking out one of the new students (others call him Tony Montana) for being a vegetable. He told me that he wasn’t sleeping, but he acted a lot like Terry Schiavo today. He was leaned over in his desk without a sign of life. I gave him a check and it just sat on his desk. I do believe he was awake, but he didn’t appear to have a conscious thought. I kicked him out right at the end of class, but the horn rang. I made sure that the sergeant knew he got the boot. It was raining outside, so I think he was sent to the cafeteria to do pushups and situps. It’s a good thing too. He could use it.
Fifth period was my silving lining today. I only had four students and it quickly turned into three. Onepac came to class late and he was complaining about another teacher. I understood exactly two words that he said: “Stupid fucker.” Check one. He immediately grew defensive and claimed he didn’t do anything. I was a bit frustrated from my long day and told him to write it for ten. When he continued to complain, I told him to get out. He gave the dirtiest look I have ever seen. For some reason, this kid that is maybe 5’6” and 120 pounds thinks I am intimidated by him. He walked extremely slowly, maybe taking 30 seconds to leave the room. I simply smiled as I walked behind him, just waiting for him to turn around.
When I weeded out the crap, the class performed well. One of the boys who is inconsistent decided not to work, but Ho Man and Skinny Kid in Camo felt like working, and working they did. It was brand new material, but they caught on quickly. It is funny hearing the banter back and forth:
HO MAN: It’s fi.
SKINNY KID IN CAMO: It’s ten.
HO MAN: You stupid, brah.
SKINNY KID IN CAMO: Man, boy, you don’t know what you doing, foo.
HO MAN: You dumb, brah.
SKINNY KID IN CAMO: Nah, man, ya gotta add them together.
HO MAN: Shit, I tripping, brah.
I actually had fun in that class today. I tend to be able to lighten up a bit because the class is smaller and I also like all the kids that are there. And Ho Man delivered another memorable quote.
He noticed my father’s ring on my right hand and said, “You got a fake ring on your finger, brah.” It’s a really nice ring, so I took offense and said, “No, those are real diamonds.” He asked how much it cost and I said it was my father’s. He said, “Oh, I thought maybe your old lady bought it for you.
I turned it on him with a smile on my face and said, “I thought you were going to find me a woman.” He smiled and said, “Well you don’t come by my house at all, brah.” Then he asked me what I liked. “You like ‘em big or small?” I just smiled and didn’t answer. He did. “I like ‘em big. More cushion for the mushin’.” I have never heard “mushin’” before, but I thought it was hilarious as he started nodding his head for me. I tried to visualize the type of “cat” that Ho Man gets, and I would imagine they are some pretty large ladies.
I was so pleased with fifth period because we finished my entire PowerPoint and a bunch of examples and then Skinny Kid in Camo made up a problem and they even solved that. I wish all of my classes were that small. It’d be an entirely different job. I’d actually get to teach.
Homeroom sucked. No two ways about it. I keep looking at the calendar and see my time running out and a bunch of material that I haven’t covered. I wanted to spend 20 minutes in homeroom working on trigonometric ratios, because it is something we won’t get to in regular class. Teletubby instantly started complaining about a headache. I told him that he didn’t have a headache. I said that he’s a carrier: He can give headaches, but he can’t get them. He had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. I gave him two checks a minute later when he started giving me one with his high-pitched chatting. I laughed at him as I handed it over. He was looking at me when he was talking away with his little ladies.
Step Six’s mother (or aunt) was gone, so he decided to act out again. I promised him candy if he didn’t cause a problem. That may have lasted one minute. He had his back turned to me and began talking to every group of people that he could. He told me that he was already suspended so he didn’t care. I got him out of class. In the hallway, he started running his mouth again. I asked him if he was talking. He admitted he was. He also admitted that he wasn’t supposed to be talking. He tried asking me whether the rest of the class was talking as well, but I wasn’t going to have any of it. I told him that the funny thing about him was that he always had to get the last word in. He proved me right. He started talking again, and I simply said, “You always have to have the last word, so I’ll give it to you.” I turned around and closed my door. I could hear his voice in the background.
At this point, my class decided that they were finished for the day. Everybody had their heads down. Somebody had turned off my projector. I turned the power strip back on and got things up and running. I said, “Heads up,” loudly. Slim picked up his head. Nobody else did. I was hot.
I attempted to kick everybody except Slim out of my class. My uncle came in and relieved me for the last five minutes. He jacked them pretty good. I was in the hallways trying to cool down. As much as I enjoy teaching and helping kids, I wonder how much of that I am actually doing here.
After the bell rang, Step Six came up to me and asked if I was going to answer his question. I simply said, “No”. He continued to talk. I acted like I couldn’t hear him and then simply walked away.
My uncle talked to me after class. I know that I probably take too much pride in what I’m doing. He said that I need to realize what I am working with and not take everything to heart. It’s a constant struggle.
I think one of the hardest things I have learned here, and in growing up in general, is that I am only one person and I can’t save everybody. Most of my students will fail. Most of them will end up in prison. A lot of them will die early deaths. I can’t save the world. I am trying to look at the small victories, like fifth period today, and find consolation in that. Hopefully, that’ll keep me coming back.
My first period went pretty well. I was surprised to see Step Six lined up first at my door. His extremely large mother was standing behind him, so I knew he would be putting on another act. Fine by me.
That class ran fairly smoothly. I was teaching the Pythagorean Theorem (a squared plus b squared equals c squared) for the first time today, and those kids seemed to catch on pretty quickly. The only girl that gave me any issues in first period was Rosie. I had a letter that she was supposed to give to her parents. Of course, she opened it up after I had told her not to, and then she kept complaining about how she needed to go to the office. That little tub has a really smart mouth, and I think after all was said and done, I made her write four checks.
Second period was a bit of a struggle as well. Terry Schiavo once again failed to bring a pencil or a pulse to class. He was half-asleep for most of class. Miss Piggy and Linda Blair were sleeping too. I got some nice pictures of them dozing off.
One of the new girls started giving me problems. She was busy talking in the back of the room, so I decided to move her to the front. She said she wasn’t going to move. I told her that she would either move to the front or out in the hallway. I resumed teaching.
A couple of minutes later, she was still in her seat and I grew agitated. I told her to move. She still wasn’t budging, so I kicked her out. I thought that was the end of the problem.
A few minutes later, she came back with her check filled out and told me that the security lady told her to fill it out and return to class. She gave it to me and then said, “So shut up,” under her breath. I wasn’t sure if I really heard that so I continued teaching. A minute later, I looked back and saw that she was still in her desk. I told her again to move to the front. She said she would but continued to complain. After she had her back turned and continued talking, I got her out of there for good.
My favorite aspect of class was probably Miss Piggy. I have never seen a more tired group of kids than those at NHS. She slept the entire hour. I brought out the camera and got a nice shot of her with her face buried in her arms. The entire class started laughing. Then the air horn went off and everybody got up to move to their next class. This is not a quiet procedure. The air horn usually startles me a bit and my kids don’t whisper. She remained asleep for a good two minutes afterwards. Finally, I yelled her name and she got up. I’m sure tomorrow she will complain that I am a terrible teacher and don’t know how to do my job.
Speaking of being a terrible teacher, I heard plenty of that during third period. The class was loud as usual. Worm with Braids was the one that did me in. He was doodling on his board and I told him to do his work. He continued to draw, so I gave him a check. He tossed it aside and said, “I ain’t writin’ this unless you hand it to me the right way.” I didn’t know what that meant, but I grabbed it and gave it back to him and said, “Write it for ten.” He wrote it for five, then he told me that he couldn’t wait until the school board came in and saw how horrible I was at teaching so I would get fired. I got him out of there. A few minutes later, he came back in and started talking again. I didn’t even give him time to get comfortable in his seat before I sent him back outside to run some more. I literally can not stand that kid. There is no other way to describe him but a punk and a waste of life. On a happy note, Whisper made it through the entire period today. He even wrote a check for another student. Again, he asked for candy at the end of the class. I told him, “Maybe tomorrow.”
After that class, the math coach, who had been in my room the entire time, told me that I have the patience of Job and that she would have lost it. I don’t know how I can keep it together.
Fourth period was a bit of a struggle as well. The girl who got kicked out yesterday got the boot again today. Half of the LEAP test is calculator-based and I haven’t covered much with them, so I brought out the calculators today. I asked random questions to see if they knew how to find the keys and compute things. Suit Man was actually quick with his calculator. With one response, he correctly answered more questions today than he did on his 27-problem test. This caused the girl to come unglued. “I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO FINISH THE PROBLEM!” I told her that I’d give her time to finish it. After a smart response, she got a check. More backtalk and I doubled the amount. After more complaining about how much she disliked me and the school and I got her back out of the room.
I was busy writing up the referral form when Iron Mike called me mean. I smiled as I gave her a check. Then her friend, who is pregnant, started talking smack with Prudence. She said she would come over and beat Prudence’s ass. I didn’t hear what Prudence said, but I caught the tail end: “…and the baby inside you.” That statement caused Pregnant Girl to leave her seat. I got both of them out of the room quickly and separated. Prudence seemed pretty worried about getting in trouble. I can’t imagine her in a fight. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight.
I ended up kicking out one of the new students (others call him Tony Montana) for being a vegetable. He told me that he wasn’t sleeping, but he acted a lot like Terry Schiavo today. He was leaned over in his desk without a sign of life. I gave him a check and it just sat on his desk. I do believe he was awake, but he didn’t appear to have a conscious thought. I kicked him out right at the end of class, but the horn rang. I made sure that the sergeant knew he got the boot. It was raining outside, so I think he was sent to the cafeteria to do pushups and situps. It’s a good thing too. He could use it.
Fifth period was my silving lining today. I only had four students and it quickly turned into three. Onepac came to class late and he was complaining about another teacher. I understood exactly two words that he said: “Stupid fucker.” Check one. He immediately grew defensive and claimed he didn’t do anything. I was a bit frustrated from my long day and told him to write it for ten. When he continued to complain, I told him to get out. He gave the dirtiest look I have ever seen. For some reason, this kid that is maybe 5’6” and 120 pounds thinks I am intimidated by him. He walked extremely slowly, maybe taking 30 seconds to leave the room. I simply smiled as I walked behind him, just waiting for him to turn around.
When I weeded out the crap, the class performed well. One of the boys who is inconsistent decided not to work, but Ho Man and Skinny Kid in Camo felt like working, and working they did. It was brand new material, but they caught on quickly. It is funny hearing the banter back and forth:
HO MAN: It’s fi.
SKINNY KID IN CAMO: It’s ten.
HO MAN: You stupid, brah.
SKINNY KID IN CAMO: Man, boy, you don’t know what you doing, foo.
HO MAN: You dumb, brah.
SKINNY KID IN CAMO: Nah, man, ya gotta add them together.
HO MAN: Shit, I tripping, brah.
I actually had fun in that class today. I tend to be able to lighten up a bit because the class is smaller and I also like all the kids that are there. And Ho Man delivered another memorable quote.
He noticed my father’s ring on my right hand and said, “You got a fake ring on your finger, brah.” It’s a really nice ring, so I took offense and said, “No, those are real diamonds.” He asked how much it cost and I said it was my father’s. He said, “Oh, I thought maybe your old lady bought it for you.
I turned it on him with a smile on my face and said, “I thought you were going to find me a woman.” He smiled and said, “Well you don’t come by my house at all, brah.” Then he asked me what I liked. “You like ‘em big or small?” I just smiled and didn’t answer. He did. “I like ‘em big. More cushion for the mushin’.” I have never heard “mushin’” before, but I thought it was hilarious as he started nodding his head for me. I tried to visualize the type of “cat” that Ho Man gets, and I would imagine they are some pretty large ladies.
I was so pleased with fifth period because we finished my entire PowerPoint and a bunch of examples and then Skinny Kid in Camo made up a problem and they even solved that. I wish all of my classes were that small. It’d be an entirely different job. I’d actually get to teach.
Homeroom sucked. No two ways about it. I keep looking at the calendar and see my time running out and a bunch of material that I haven’t covered. I wanted to spend 20 minutes in homeroom working on trigonometric ratios, because it is something we won’t get to in regular class. Teletubby instantly started complaining about a headache. I told him that he didn’t have a headache. I said that he’s a carrier: He can give headaches, but he can’t get them. He had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. I gave him two checks a minute later when he started giving me one with his high-pitched chatting. I laughed at him as I handed it over. He was looking at me when he was talking away with his little ladies.
Step Six’s mother (or aunt) was gone, so he decided to act out again. I promised him candy if he didn’t cause a problem. That may have lasted one minute. He had his back turned to me and began talking to every group of people that he could. He told me that he was already suspended so he didn’t care. I got him out of class. In the hallway, he started running his mouth again. I asked him if he was talking. He admitted he was. He also admitted that he wasn’t supposed to be talking. He tried asking me whether the rest of the class was talking as well, but I wasn’t going to have any of it. I told him that the funny thing about him was that he always had to get the last word in. He proved me right. He started talking again, and I simply said, “You always have to have the last word, so I’ll give it to you.” I turned around and closed my door. I could hear his voice in the background.
At this point, my class decided that they were finished for the day. Everybody had their heads down. Somebody had turned off my projector. I turned the power strip back on and got things up and running. I said, “Heads up,” loudly. Slim picked up his head. Nobody else did. I was hot.
I attempted to kick everybody except Slim out of my class. My uncle came in and relieved me for the last five minutes. He jacked them pretty good. I was in the hallways trying to cool down. As much as I enjoy teaching and helping kids, I wonder how much of that I am actually doing here.
After the bell rang, Step Six came up to me and asked if I was going to answer his question. I simply said, “No”. He continued to talk. I acted like I couldn’t hear him and then simply walked away.
My uncle talked to me after class. I know that I probably take too much pride in what I’m doing. He said that I need to realize what I am working with and not take everything to heart. It’s a constant struggle.
I think one of the hardest things I have learned here, and in growing up in general, is that I am only one person and I can’t save everybody. Most of my students will fail. Most of them will end up in prison. A lot of them will die early deaths. I can’t save the world. I am trying to look at the small victories, like fifth period today, and find consolation in that. Hopefully, that’ll keep me coming back.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"I kill for fun"
Two decent days so far this week.
First period is a bit of a blur. There weren't a whole lot of problems. Step Six was gone as was the Boy with the Tattooed Hands. I have figured out who the cancers are in each class, and it is noticeable how much different the periods run when they are gone. Having a girl whisper in my ear that she needed to go to the bathroom because at that moment her monthly visitor arrived was probably the highlight of my "period" (pun intended). I'm not sure why she needed to be as detailed as she was, but I let her go. First period is at a disadvantage because they typically don't get in their seats until about 8:15 and class ends at 9:00. After the students get settled and are working, it's normally almost 8:30.
Today, I took a few pictures of my class. I want my friends and family to be able to put faces to nicknames. My excuse today was that I needed to document who wasn't doing their work. As expected, Teletubby was gossiping with the girls. I pulled out the camera and he stared blankly at it. "Mr. C-------, why you take my picture? Where my ten dollars?" I told him that he wasn't going to get any money, and he threatened to sue me for taking his picture without permission. It'd be worth it. It's a great shot.
The class ended with me returning their tests. By and large, they did better than I expected. I gave Teletubby and Lady Cheaterly their tests back. It took Cheaterly about five minutes to say anything, but she bellowed in with, "Why did I get a zero on my test?" I simply told her that her answers were exactly the same as Teletubby and she refused to take a re-test. She said that everybody cheated, which wouldn't surprise me that much. I told her that if they did, they were much better at it than her because they didn't get caught. Period one ended. Not too difficult.
Second period was without Candy Bar Man, but with Linda Blair and Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy didn't last long in my room. She's a complainer. Every day, she complains about the smell. Her hygiene is atrocious and it is probably her own body odor that she detects. Anyways, she was talking to Linda Blair and I told her to move and she flipped out. After two checks, she told me that she needed to leave the room so she wouldn't get mad at me. I let her go. It was a no-lose situation.
The boy that I once referred to as Van Gogh was in rare form today. I didn't see much drawing from him. I didn't see much of anything. In fact, I think it is time to change his name to Terry Schiavo because it is honestly almost difficult to tell whether or not he is alive sometimes. He sat motionless in the back of the classroom for a good ten minutes without moving. I called his name, to which he always responds, "Sir?" I asked him if he did his bellringer. He told me that he didn't have a pencil. I gave him a pencil.
Five minutes later, I asked him if he had done his bell ringer. He told me he didn't know what to do. I pointed at the board and he scribbled some answer.
During class, I had asked the students to draw a reflection of a figure on their own boards. He sat there with his hands over his head. "Sir?" I asked him if he had done his work. "No. What am I supposed to do?" I told him and he maybe finished half of what I asked of him before I moved on to something else.
At the end of class, he announced that he wouldn't "be here tomorrow." I asked him, "Were you here today?" He looked at me with those big vacant eyes, and said, "Huh?" I responded, "Exactly."
Third period belonged to Whisper. There weren't a whole lot of discipline problems with the others, including Worm with Braids and Debbie Dwindle. It was Whisper's story today...
He sat in the back as he usually does. He came up to me before class and said that he was going to have a really good day and work really hard. He asked if I would give him candy if he worked hard. I said, "We'll see," which normally means no. Anyways...
He started out strong, referring to me as "Sir" and doing his bell work. Then Whisper started slipping up and talking a bit. I knew it was time to move him to the front, so I told him to change seats. That's when the complaining started. "This is why I hate school," he said as he was walking to the front. He told me how his mom was going to take this to the school board. Before he knew it, he had written two checks.
Maybe I am becoming a softee, but I let things slide with Whisper today and as class was ending, he was still in the room and not in the hallway. It was the first time since I've been a teacher at NHS that he made it through an entire class without being kicked out. With about a minute left, one kid blurted out, "Mr. C-------, do you believe that the world is ending in 2012?" I had no idea where that came from, and he went on to explain that the person who had predicted Hurricane Katrina also predicted the world would end in 2012. Pretty interesting, but something I take with a gallon of salt. Anyways, Whisper said that he didn't care if the world ended in 2012 because he would be 18. I wasn't sure how that would matter but I listened as he continued.
"I am gonna die young anyways because I'm a gangsta. I love that life. I kill for fun. My mama's boyfriend? He's dead. I killed him. It was self-defense though. I wasn't gonna let him beat my mama's ass."
I just told him that I wouldn't go around telling people that. I was in a bit of shock. Anyways, the class ended and most of the students left. Whisper asked me if he could have some candy. I told him no. He responded, "Oh man, but this is the first time I didn't get kicked out of your class. You played me. I ain't gonna behave well in your class no more after you play me like that."
Fourth period: the science teacher made a mistake in telling her homeroom that if they made it through my class without a check, she would give them breakfast. For the first fifteen minutes, it worked wonderfully. Things soon changed and I knew when that first check was handed out, it would get a bit rough.
I know that I hand out checks more than any other teacher, but I also know that the students test me more than the others due to my age. There was a bit of talking, but nothing that I couldn't handle and the kids were doing their work. I've noticed that everybody always expects the worst at this school. The first check I handed out was to a girl that just came off suspension. She was talking and I merely looked at her, and she went off on me. She raised her voice and started shouting about how she didn't do anything before I even gave her a check. I set it on her desk without a word.
Part of me is an instigator, as much as I know I shouldn't be. I told the class not to assume that they were in trouble just because I was looking at them. I said that they shouldn't start shouting just because of a look. Then the girl said in a snotty tone, "I wasn't shouting at you." Check two. A refusal to write and "stupid ass" under her breath got her out of my room.
The pregnant girl in class had a smart comment which warranted a check, and then Iron Mike got on my case. She was busy talking, and I told her to move to the front. She glared at me with anger in her eyes and a gap in her teeth. I told her that she could either move to the front desk or out in the hall. She sat there for another minute before finally getting up. She decided to move to another desk, but stopped two seats behind where my finger was pointing and said, "I'm not moving to the front because I don't want to be close to you." Truth be told, I didn't want to be close to her either, but she disobeyed me, so I sent her out as well.
I started writing the two disciplinary referrals. I hate writing them because I tend to write a lot more than necessary and it eats up a lot of time. I decided to let Suit Man teach. He was in charge of the PowerPoint. He was having trouble reading the slides, so after about 15 seconds, I instructed him on what to draw on the board. I lectured from my desk in the back as I was writing up the referrals.
I told Suit Man that he should consider becoming a teacher, but I think that he realized I wasn't being entirely serious after I gave him his test back. "Oh man, I don't feel so good," he said as he looked at the big zero on top of his paper. Unlike Lady Cheaterly, Suit Man earned his zero. He only answered the first 11 questions, but every single one of them was incorrect. That is actually pretty impressive. He still had a smile on his face and I had one on mine.
I was impressed with one of the new girls (we'll call her Prudence because she actually carries herself fairly well for a NHS student). She only got a five on her test, and all she said to me was "I am just disappointed in myself." I assured her that there would be other chances to boost her grade. I also let the students know that the big test would be coming next week.
Fifth period only had five students: Ho Man, Skinny Kid in Camo, TB, Onepac, and another boy that doesn't show up much. Big Kid in Camo had been in my room earlier in the day to get some work. He must have been sent to FLC all day, but he told me that he didn't know why. After I asked him if he was in trouble he said, "No. I dunno."
Because that class is smaller, I did some review from yesterday on boards. I had my candy out and the students were eager to solve the problems and reap the rewards. Skinny Kid in Camo won the first Reese's. Ho Man was disgusted. "Man, brah, if I ain't get no candy, brah, I ain't doin' no mo' work. Ain't coo, brah." I later gave him some chocolate when he got an answer correct.
That class was pretty uneventful today although Ho Man did provide one quote for the papers. The kids were talking about their LEAP test and how I had promised to buy them a regular sized candy bar if they passed. TB told me that he wanted a MexiMelt from TacoBell and then they all piped in about what they wanted. I asked what I was going to get as a reward for helping them pass. Ho Man said, "Man, Mr. C-------, you know what I'm gonna get for you when I pass my LEAP test?" I already had a good idea of what he was going to say, but I asked him what it was anyways.
"Some cat."
The matter of fact way that he said it made me chuckle loudly. Then the entire class got in on the laughing. I know I need to improve as a disciplinarian, but I keep trying to imagine myself ever saying anything like that to a teacher that I had in high school. It would never happen.
Homeroom was a pain in the neck once again today. I was attempting to teach parallel and perpendicular lines (something they messed up on the test) and all the kids could do was complain about the candy. They knew that I had it, but apparently they couldn't figure out I wasn't going to give any away when they were being noisy. I was basically teaching to one girl (The Great Black Hope because she is one of the only ones I see with any potential whatsoever) while the rest complained. The Rapist started being cocky while another girl (Dinosaur because she looks like one and her name resembles one as well) started asking about my "toupee". I realize I have poofy hair and a big forehead, but her braids are absurd, and I told her not to throw stones in glass houses. She had no clue what I meant and needed the Rapist to explain it to her. Then she continued to talk. Check. Check.
Finally, I was getting fed up with my class, so I ate some chocolate in front of them. That made me feel good. After a few more minutes of teaching, I dropped three Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs in front of The Great Black Hope. She shared them with the loudmouth girl and Lady Cheaterly. Cheaterly started acting cocky, telling me that she didn't do anything and still got some chocolate. I decided to put her in her place right then and there. "Yeah, and you still got a zero on your test, too." I understand it was a mean thing to do, but at times, I do drop a level to twist the knife a bit. I don't need to be all too worried with what I say to my students, and I know that none of them are smart enough to ever hit me back with anything clever. She simply told me that she would tell her mama and her mama would beat my ass. Not too worried about it.
The period ended with me kicking out two kids, the Rapist and a boy I am going to call Jam Master Jay, because he has a bit of style and personality. However, when he got a check for chewing gum, he didn't have a whole lot of class. He walked up to me with the piece of paper in his hand and rubbed his butt with it before handing it to me. I kicked him out immediately and when the Rapist started running his mouth, I got him out of there as well. Sergeant Grinch told them not to worry about coming to school tomorrow. That won't break my heart.
Not a bad week so far. I only have five days of teaching left before the LEAP test begins. I hear that after that is over, my job will become a lot easier because a bunch of the students will stop coming to class. Only those that want to pass and get back to their old school will get their. I also won't deal with the time and material constraints and I hope to find some fun activities for my class to do. Tomorrow will be another day and another entirely new lesson (Pythagorean theorem). I doubt that they'll understand it, but I don't have a whole lot of time at this point to question anything I'm doing. We're getting close to Judgment Day.
First period is a bit of a blur. There weren't a whole lot of problems. Step Six was gone as was the Boy with the Tattooed Hands. I have figured out who the cancers are in each class, and it is noticeable how much different the periods run when they are gone. Having a girl whisper in my ear that she needed to go to the bathroom because at that moment her monthly visitor arrived was probably the highlight of my "period" (pun intended). I'm not sure why she needed to be as detailed as she was, but I let her go. First period is at a disadvantage because they typically don't get in their seats until about 8:15 and class ends at 9:00. After the students get settled and are working, it's normally almost 8:30.
Today, I took a few pictures of my class. I want my friends and family to be able to put faces to nicknames. My excuse today was that I needed to document who wasn't doing their work. As expected, Teletubby was gossiping with the girls. I pulled out the camera and he stared blankly at it. "Mr. C-------, why you take my picture? Where my ten dollars?" I told him that he wasn't going to get any money, and he threatened to sue me for taking his picture without permission. It'd be worth it. It's a great shot.
The class ended with me returning their tests. By and large, they did better than I expected. I gave Teletubby and Lady Cheaterly their tests back. It took Cheaterly about five minutes to say anything, but she bellowed in with, "Why did I get a zero on my test?" I simply told her that her answers were exactly the same as Teletubby and she refused to take a re-test. She said that everybody cheated, which wouldn't surprise me that much. I told her that if they did, they were much better at it than her because they didn't get caught. Period one ended. Not too difficult.
Second period was without Candy Bar Man, but with Linda Blair and Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy didn't last long in my room. She's a complainer. Every day, she complains about the smell. Her hygiene is atrocious and it is probably her own body odor that she detects. Anyways, she was talking to Linda Blair and I told her to move and she flipped out. After two checks, she told me that she needed to leave the room so she wouldn't get mad at me. I let her go. It was a no-lose situation.
The boy that I once referred to as Van Gogh was in rare form today. I didn't see much drawing from him. I didn't see much of anything. In fact, I think it is time to change his name to Terry Schiavo because it is honestly almost difficult to tell whether or not he is alive sometimes. He sat motionless in the back of the classroom for a good ten minutes without moving. I called his name, to which he always responds, "Sir?" I asked him if he did his bellringer. He told me that he didn't have a pencil. I gave him a pencil.
Five minutes later, I asked him if he had done his bell ringer. He told me he didn't know what to do. I pointed at the board and he scribbled some answer.
During class, I had asked the students to draw a reflection of a figure on their own boards. He sat there with his hands over his head. "Sir?" I asked him if he had done his work. "No. What am I supposed to do?" I told him and he maybe finished half of what I asked of him before I moved on to something else.
At the end of class, he announced that he wouldn't "be here tomorrow." I asked him, "Were you here today?" He looked at me with those big vacant eyes, and said, "Huh?" I responded, "Exactly."
Third period belonged to Whisper. There weren't a whole lot of discipline problems with the others, including Worm with Braids and Debbie Dwindle. It was Whisper's story today...
He sat in the back as he usually does. He came up to me before class and said that he was going to have a really good day and work really hard. He asked if I would give him candy if he worked hard. I said, "We'll see," which normally means no. Anyways...
He started out strong, referring to me as "Sir" and doing his bell work. Then Whisper started slipping up and talking a bit. I knew it was time to move him to the front, so I told him to change seats. That's when the complaining started. "This is why I hate school," he said as he was walking to the front. He told me how his mom was going to take this to the school board. Before he knew it, he had written two checks.
Maybe I am becoming a softee, but I let things slide with Whisper today and as class was ending, he was still in the room and not in the hallway. It was the first time since I've been a teacher at NHS that he made it through an entire class without being kicked out. With about a minute left, one kid blurted out, "Mr. C-------, do you believe that the world is ending in 2012?" I had no idea where that came from, and he went on to explain that the person who had predicted Hurricane Katrina also predicted the world would end in 2012. Pretty interesting, but something I take with a gallon of salt. Anyways, Whisper said that he didn't care if the world ended in 2012 because he would be 18. I wasn't sure how that would matter but I listened as he continued.
"I am gonna die young anyways because I'm a gangsta. I love that life. I kill for fun. My mama's boyfriend? He's dead. I killed him. It was self-defense though. I wasn't gonna let him beat my mama's ass."
I just told him that I wouldn't go around telling people that. I was in a bit of shock. Anyways, the class ended and most of the students left. Whisper asked me if he could have some candy. I told him no. He responded, "Oh man, but this is the first time I didn't get kicked out of your class. You played me. I ain't gonna behave well in your class no more after you play me like that."
Fourth period: the science teacher made a mistake in telling her homeroom that if they made it through my class without a check, she would give them breakfast. For the first fifteen minutes, it worked wonderfully. Things soon changed and I knew when that first check was handed out, it would get a bit rough.
I know that I hand out checks more than any other teacher, but I also know that the students test me more than the others due to my age. There was a bit of talking, but nothing that I couldn't handle and the kids were doing their work. I've noticed that everybody always expects the worst at this school. The first check I handed out was to a girl that just came off suspension. She was talking and I merely looked at her, and she went off on me. She raised her voice and started shouting about how she didn't do anything before I even gave her a check. I set it on her desk without a word.
Part of me is an instigator, as much as I know I shouldn't be. I told the class not to assume that they were in trouble just because I was looking at them. I said that they shouldn't start shouting just because of a look. Then the girl said in a snotty tone, "I wasn't shouting at you." Check two. A refusal to write and "stupid ass" under her breath got her out of my room.
The pregnant girl in class had a smart comment which warranted a check, and then Iron Mike got on my case. She was busy talking, and I told her to move to the front. She glared at me with anger in her eyes and a gap in her teeth. I told her that she could either move to the front desk or out in the hall. She sat there for another minute before finally getting up. She decided to move to another desk, but stopped two seats behind where my finger was pointing and said, "I'm not moving to the front because I don't want to be close to you." Truth be told, I didn't want to be close to her either, but she disobeyed me, so I sent her out as well.
I started writing the two disciplinary referrals. I hate writing them because I tend to write a lot more than necessary and it eats up a lot of time. I decided to let Suit Man teach. He was in charge of the PowerPoint. He was having trouble reading the slides, so after about 15 seconds, I instructed him on what to draw on the board. I lectured from my desk in the back as I was writing up the referrals.
I told Suit Man that he should consider becoming a teacher, but I think that he realized I wasn't being entirely serious after I gave him his test back. "Oh man, I don't feel so good," he said as he looked at the big zero on top of his paper. Unlike Lady Cheaterly, Suit Man earned his zero. He only answered the first 11 questions, but every single one of them was incorrect. That is actually pretty impressive. He still had a smile on his face and I had one on mine.
I was impressed with one of the new girls (we'll call her Prudence because she actually carries herself fairly well for a NHS student). She only got a five on her test, and all she said to me was "I am just disappointed in myself." I assured her that there would be other chances to boost her grade. I also let the students know that the big test would be coming next week.
Fifth period only had five students: Ho Man, Skinny Kid in Camo, TB, Onepac, and another boy that doesn't show up much. Big Kid in Camo had been in my room earlier in the day to get some work. He must have been sent to FLC all day, but he told me that he didn't know why. After I asked him if he was in trouble he said, "No. I dunno."
Because that class is smaller, I did some review from yesterday on boards. I had my candy out and the students were eager to solve the problems and reap the rewards. Skinny Kid in Camo won the first Reese's. Ho Man was disgusted. "Man, brah, if I ain't get no candy, brah, I ain't doin' no mo' work. Ain't coo, brah." I later gave him some chocolate when he got an answer correct.
That class was pretty uneventful today although Ho Man did provide one quote for the papers. The kids were talking about their LEAP test and how I had promised to buy them a regular sized candy bar if they passed. TB told me that he wanted a MexiMelt from TacoBell and then they all piped in about what they wanted. I asked what I was going to get as a reward for helping them pass. Ho Man said, "Man, Mr. C-------, you know what I'm gonna get for you when I pass my LEAP test?" I already had a good idea of what he was going to say, but I asked him what it was anyways.
"Some cat."
The matter of fact way that he said it made me chuckle loudly. Then the entire class got in on the laughing. I know I need to improve as a disciplinarian, but I keep trying to imagine myself ever saying anything like that to a teacher that I had in high school. It would never happen.
Homeroom was a pain in the neck once again today. I was attempting to teach parallel and perpendicular lines (something they messed up on the test) and all the kids could do was complain about the candy. They knew that I had it, but apparently they couldn't figure out I wasn't going to give any away when they were being noisy. I was basically teaching to one girl (The Great Black Hope because she is one of the only ones I see with any potential whatsoever) while the rest complained. The Rapist started being cocky while another girl (Dinosaur because she looks like one and her name resembles one as well) started asking about my "toupee". I realize I have poofy hair and a big forehead, but her braids are absurd, and I told her not to throw stones in glass houses. She had no clue what I meant and needed the Rapist to explain it to her. Then she continued to talk. Check. Check.
Finally, I was getting fed up with my class, so I ate some chocolate in front of them. That made me feel good. After a few more minutes of teaching, I dropped three Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs in front of The Great Black Hope. She shared them with the loudmouth girl and Lady Cheaterly. Cheaterly started acting cocky, telling me that she didn't do anything and still got some chocolate. I decided to put her in her place right then and there. "Yeah, and you still got a zero on your test, too." I understand it was a mean thing to do, but at times, I do drop a level to twist the knife a bit. I don't need to be all too worried with what I say to my students, and I know that none of them are smart enough to ever hit me back with anything clever. She simply told me that she would tell her mama and her mama would beat my ass. Not too worried about it.
The period ended with me kicking out two kids, the Rapist and a boy I am going to call Jam Master Jay, because he has a bit of style and personality. However, when he got a check for chewing gum, he didn't have a whole lot of class. He walked up to me with the piece of paper in his hand and rubbed his butt with it before handing it to me. I kicked him out immediately and when the Rapist started running his mouth, I got him out of there as well. Sergeant Grinch told them not to worry about coming to school tomorrow. That won't break my heart.
Not a bad week so far. I only have five days of teaching left before the LEAP test begins. I hear that after that is over, my job will become a lot easier because a bunch of the students will stop coming to class. Only those that want to pass and get back to their old school will get their. I also won't deal with the time and material constraints and I hope to find some fun activities for my class to do. Tomorrow will be another day and another entirely new lesson (Pythagorean theorem). I doubt that they'll understand it, but I don't have a whole lot of time at this point to question anything I'm doing. We're getting close to Judgment Day.
Monday, March 23, 2009
"You evil..."
I was pretty surprised when I was waiting for my first class to come up to the door and I saw Step Six. I was sure that he was supposed to be suspended for three days, and I had heard that one more suspension meant that he would be expelled. About three minutes into class, somebody came in and got him. I think that might have been the last time I'll ever see him. I can't blame a guy for trying, but what a waste.
First period was pretty noisy, which was to be expected. Every two minutes, they asked where there candy was and when they were going to get it. I assured them that I had it and I would give it to them during homeroom. They still wouldn't drop it.
I made two girls go outside and run, the one that called me a pushover and the one that likely cheated on her test. They act like I am not even up there, continuing their conversation even while I am making them write checks. My uncle had a bet going with the cheater. She bet him a candy bar that she wouldn't have to go run anytime during the week. She was sent out last week, so this week was double or nothing. I think that he should give me atleast half of the candy bar.
Teletubby was back to being a Chatty Kathy. He kept complaining about how hot it was in the room, but he wouldn't take off his sweater vest. One time after I had yelled at the entire class to stop talking, he began carrying on a conversation while I was looking directly in his eyes. I couldn't help but start laughing at him. I gave him a check and was chuckling for a good 30 seconds. The entire class joined in. All he said was, "I don't find anything funny about this," as he signed his name. We didn't get through as much as I had hoped to, but I guess after nearly two months, I am starting to see a common theme there.
On a plus note, Slim was back in class. Never said a word.
Second hour had a pretty full house, with Candy Bar Man leading the way in the front of the room. They, too, remembered my promises from Friday and constantly asked about their candy. Miss Piggy was in class and had complained about how she didn't know how to do "anything" we were doing. I looked at my gradebook. She has been to school 9 times in the past four weeks. I would guess the problem isn't my teaching.
Candy Bar Man was working hard today and seemed to play his hand a bit closer to the vest since his Step Six meeting, but he has developed an annoying habit: singing. I have no idea what song he was singing, and I couldn't tell if he was singing or talking in a high-pitched voice, but whatever it was, it wasn't good. I asked him if he knew Ho Man, and I told him that they should start a band together because they are the two worst singers I've ever heard. If anybody heard me sing before, you would know that that statement is really saying something. I got a chuckle and Candy Bar Man knew I was only "doggin'" him.
Towards the end of class, I got out the candy and gave everybody a package of M&M's Minis. Candy Bar Man ate his and asked if I had given everybody a package. I responded that I had. He said, "Well, if you gave everybody candy for today, what about the candy from Friday?" I told him that I didn't want to make him fat so the one package would have to do. I also promised I'd keep the candy in the cabinet for future good days.
I ended my second period by telling the students were my sunburn came from. I told Candy Bar Man that I would probably become his hero after he found out.
I announced that I was the runner-up in the 2009 OysterFest Oyster Eating Contest. Surprisingly, not only did my kids not applaud my efforts, they seemed a bit disgusted to learn that I ate raw oysters. "Oh man, was they alive?" Candy Bar Man asked.
Third period was a challenge again. I ended up kicking out five students. First was Whisper. I was surprised to see him, because normally, he only shows up every 10 days or so. He was in the back and started talking about God knows what as usual. I ripped him a bit, telling him that his his main problem is every time he is in class, his foot is firmly lodged in his throat and he has no clue how to get it out. I told him that he needs to shut his mouth and do his work. That may sound harsh, but it was well deserved. He told me that he didn't appreciate being talked to in such a way. I told him that I didn't appreciate him talking at all. He was moved to the front and got kicked out when he "accidentally" tipped his desk over while he was still sitting in it. I have no clue how one can do that accidentally, so I kicked him out. He once again told me that he doesn't care about the school, my class, or me. Heartbreak.
The next two to get the boot were busy saying "Ssssssssssssssssssssssss" every time I moved because of my sunburn. It was funny the first time, but after 15 minutes, it lost its' appeal and I told them to go run. They didn't appear too pleased with me when they returned.
Worm with Braids was sitting by his foil. We will call her Debbie Dwindle, becase she was instantly one of my favorite students and now I like her less and less every single day. I knew those two together would be trouble, and they proved me right. I told Worm with Braids to move to the front, and once again, he proved that he is incapable of learning his lesson. He refused and got the boot. Finally, my uncle convinced him to move, but he assured us that he would be calling her mother and we'd be hearing from her again.
Debbie Dwindle was sent in the hallway after she refused to stop talking. Even as I was attempting to correct her behavior, she continued to talk. After I told her to leave, she carried on her conversation while she was walking slowly towards the door.
Not my favorite period right now.
After lunch, Whisper came to apologize for his behavior in my class. It was insincere, but I just reminded him that if he would simply stop talking, he wouldn't get in trouble. I know that the next time he is in my class, the exact same thing will happen.
I saw Candy Bar Man walking down the hall, singing his song. I reminded him of his horrible vocals and he simply smiled and said, "I got ya, Mr. C---ayyyyyne." He stopped singing, atleast until he was far enough away that he couldn't hear his caterwauling.
Fourth period went well. Some of my favorite characters were absent, including Iron Mike and Suit Man. Check Slapper made up for their absences. She got kicked out of class twice. I often wonder if she realizes how much she talks and moves around, but she is impossible to teach. She never stops. Then she gets angry when I call her out on it. Today there was no check slapping, but she did slam it against the desk behind her.
Once again, they continue to send us more students. I got another new one in my fourth period. To quote the girls in that class, he is a "sexy white boy". It should keep things interesting. Today, I had 9 kids in that class, and only three were on the roster when I started teaching seven weeks ago.
Ho Man was absent from fifth period, as was Jamaican Mon. I only had three: the Camo Kids and TB. My favorite part of that class actually took place in the hallway before we started. A sergeant stopped both Camo Kids and noticed that their pants were sagging (not uncommon at all, especially for those two). He made them both do pushups. I have never seen a sorrier attempt at a pushup than what I saw from Big Kid in Camo. He tells me he used to play football, but apparently, he has never lifted a weight. I believe there is supposed to be a downward AND an upward motion. He kept going down. I think he ended up doing leg raises instead. I made sure to give him a really hard time when he was done.
Because that class is so small, I teach it quite a bit differently than I do my other classes. Even though the kids tend to screw around a lot, they often outperform other classes of mine on their tests because I am able to give them so much practice and one-on-one time. Today, I had a few M&M's packets in my pocket, so I decided to see who could draw reflections on their board first. TB was dominant, and every time he finished and got one correct, the Camo Kids said, "Man, screw this, brah. I'm done. I ain't workin' no more." I thought it was funny because the small package might have cost me five cents, and what's more, TB shared them with the other two. Still, every time they got a problem wrong, it turned into me "playing them".
Update on Shaggy: You may remember that Shaggy was kicked out of my class last week and went nuts. I thought he was going to be committed. Apparently, his parents decided that they could handle him. They came into school today. They were wrong.
He was going off on his parents in the office. This is a kid that stole $1500 from his grandmother right before Christmas. He stole a bunch of her guns and pawned them off. Last week, he got thrown out of class on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he stole a car in Mississippi with two friends. Luckily for him, the owner didn't want to press charges. On Thursday, he was with a girl and her brothers wanted to beat him up. His parents found him the next morning in the bushes, covered with blankets next to the girl.
Shaggy was threatening his mom at the meeting. He has beaten her up in the past, and even started beating up his father, before Dad got a lucky punch in, breaking his son's nose. At the meeting, he threatened to take his whole bottle of medication at one time. The meeting ended with him being hauled away in a squad car. I don't think I'll be seeing him any time soon.
Homeroom: I carried around two bags of candy that I had bought last night and passed them out to students that were quiet. I think by the end of the class, maybe half of the students got one. I also find it interesting that even I spent my own money and bought candy for my students, they will still complain and argue about the type of candy that I get. I always tell them that beggars can't be choosers, and they take offense to that, assuming I am referring to poverty.
I was attempting to teach with little success. Every five seconds, somebody was asking about the candy and then they continued to talk, which gave me good reason not to give them any. The Boy with the Tattooed Hands was one of the most irritating. I called his name and just chuckled. I had no plan to give him a check or get him in any major trouble. Instead, I was trying to make a point. He proved another point: He belongs at that school. His response to my chuckle was "you better not give me a check or I'll throw it at your face." I tested him, and sure enough, he threw it. He told me, "Get that fucking check out of my face." I made him leave, and as he was walking out the door, he said, "What you lookin' at, nigga?" to some student. I am pretty sure that he'll be suspended.
Teletubby continued to talk, and when I gave him a check, he told me, "Oh, you just like bein' evil, Mr. C-------." Truth be told, I think I do. I gave him another check and didn't even try to hide my smile.
Not a bad day for a Monday. Not a bad day at all.
First period was pretty noisy, which was to be expected. Every two minutes, they asked where there candy was and when they were going to get it. I assured them that I had it and I would give it to them during homeroom. They still wouldn't drop it.
I made two girls go outside and run, the one that called me a pushover and the one that likely cheated on her test. They act like I am not even up there, continuing their conversation even while I am making them write checks. My uncle had a bet going with the cheater. She bet him a candy bar that she wouldn't have to go run anytime during the week. She was sent out last week, so this week was double or nothing. I think that he should give me atleast half of the candy bar.
Teletubby was back to being a Chatty Kathy. He kept complaining about how hot it was in the room, but he wouldn't take off his sweater vest. One time after I had yelled at the entire class to stop talking, he began carrying on a conversation while I was looking directly in his eyes. I couldn't help but start laughing at him. I gave him a check and was chuckling for a good 30 seconds. The entire class joined in. All he said was, "I don't find anything funny about this," as he signed his name. We didn't get through as much as I had hoped to, but I guess after nearly two months, I am starting to see a common theme there.
On a plus note, Slim was back in class. Never said a word.
Second hour had a pretty full house, with Candy Bar Man leading the way in the front of the room. They, too, remembered my promises from Friday and constantly asked about their candy. Miss Piggy was in class and had complained about how she didn't know how to do "anything" we were doing. I looked at my gradebook. She has been to school 9 times in the past four weeks. I would guess the problem isn't my teaching.
Candy Bar Man was working hard today and seemed to play his hand a bit closer to the vest since his Step Six meeting, but he has developed an annoying habit: singing. I have no idea what song he was singing, and I couldn't tell if he was singing or talking in a high-pitched voice, but whatever it was, it wasn't good. I asked him if he knew Ho Man, and I told him that they should start a band together because they are the two worst singers I've ever heard. If anybody heard me sing before, you would know that that statement is really saying something. I got a chuckle and Candy Bar Man knew I was only "doggin'" him.
Towards the end of class, I got out the candy and gave everybody a package of M&M's Minis. Candy Bar Man ate his and asked if I had given everybody a package. I responded that I had. He said, "Well, if you gave everybody candy for today, what about the candy from Friday?" I told him that I didn't want to make him fat so the one package would have to do. I also promised I'd keep the candy in the cabinet for future good days.
I ended my second period by telling the students were my sunburn came from. I told Candy Bar Man that I would probably become his hero after he found out.
I announced that I was the runner-up in the 2009 OysterFest Oyster Eating Contest. Surprisingly, not only did my kids not applaud my efforts, they seemed a bit disgusted to learn that I ate raw oysters. "Oh man, was they alive?" Candy Bar Man asked.
Third period was a challenge again. I ended up kicking out five students. First was Whisper. I was surprised to see him, because normally, he only shows up every 10 days or so. He was in the back and started talking about God knows what as usual. I ripped him a bit, telling him that his his main problem is every time he is in class, his foot is firmly lodged in his throat and he has no clue how to get it out. I told him that he needs to shut his mouth and do his work. That may sound harsh, but it was well deserved. He told me that he didn't appreciate being talked to in such a way. I told him that I didn't appreciate him talking at all. He was moved to the front and got kicked out when he "accidentally" tipped his desk over while he was still sitting in it. I have no clue how one can do that accidentally, so I kicked him out. He once again told me that he doesn't care about the school, my class, or me. Heartbreak.
The next two to get the boot were busy saying "Ssssssssssssssssssssssss" every time I moved because of my sunburn. It was funny the first time, but after 15 minutes, it lost its' appeal and I told them to go run. They didn't appear too pleased with me when they returned.
Worm with Braids was sitting by his foil. We will call her Debbie Dwindle, becase she was instantly one of my favorite students and now I like her less and less every single day. I knew those two together would be trouble, and they proved me right. I told Worm with Braids to move to the front, and once again, he proved that he is incapable of learning his lesson. He refused and got the boot. Finally, my uncle convinced him to move, but he assured us that he would be calling her mother and we'd be hearing from her again.
Debbie Dwindle was sent in the hallway after she refused to stop talking. Even as I was attempting to correct her behavior, she continued to talk. After I told her to leave, she carried on her conversation while she was walking slowly towards the door.
Not my favorite period right now.
After lunch, Whisper came to apologize for his behavior in my class. It was insincere, but I just reminded him that if he would simply stop talking, he wouldn't get in trouble. I know that the next time he is in my class, the exact same thing will happen.
I saw Candy Bar Man walking down the hall, singing his song. I reminded him of his horrible vocals and he simply smiled and said, "I got ya, Mr. C---ayyyyyne." He stopped singing, atleast until he was far enough away that he couldn't hear his caterwauling.
Fourth period went well. Some of my favorite characters were absent, including Iron Mike and Suit Man. Check Slapper made up for their absences. She got kicked out of class twice. I often wonder if she realizes how much she talks and moves around, but she is impossible to teach. She never stops. Then she gets angry when I call her out on it. Today there was no check slapping, but she did slam it against the desk behind her.
Once again, they continue to send us more students. I got another new one in my fourth period. To quote the girls in that class, he is a "sexy white boy". It should keep things interesting. Today, I had 9 kids in that class, and only three were on the roster when I started teaching seven weeks ago.
Ho Man was absent from fifth period, as was Jamaican Mon. I only had three: the Camo Kids and TB. My favorite part of that class actually took place in the hallway before we started. A sergeant stopped both Camo Kids and noticed that their pants were sagging (not uncommon at all, especially for those two). He made them both do pushups. I have never seen a sorrier attempt at a pushup than what I saw from Big Kid in Camo. He tells me he used to play football, but apparently, he has never lifted a weight. I believe there is supposed to be a downward AND an upward motion. He kept going down. I think he ended up doing leg raises instead. I made sure to give him a really hard time when he was done.
Because that class is so small, I teach it quite a bit differently than I do my other classes. Even though the kids tend to screw around a lot, they often outperform other classes of mine on their tests because I am able to give them so much practice and one-on-one time. Today, I had a few M&M's packets in my pocket, so I decided to see who could draw reflections on their board first. TB was dominant, and every time he finished and got one correct, the Camo Kids said, "Man, screw this, brah. I'm done. I ain't workin' no more." I thought it was funny because the small package might have cost me five cents, and what's more, TB shared them with the other two. Still, every time they got a problem wrong, it turned into me "playing them".
Update on Shaggy: You may remember that Shaggy was kicked out of my class last week and went nuts. I thought he was going to be committed. Apparently, his parents decided that they could handle him. They came into school today. They were wrong.
He was going off on his parents in the office. This is a kid that stole $1500 from his grandmother right before Christmas. He stole a bunch of her guns and pawned them off. Last week, he got thrown out of class on Tuesday. On Wednesday, he stole a car in Mississippi with two friends. Luckily for him, the owner didn't want to press charges. On Thursday, he was with a girl and her brothers wanted to beat him up. His parents found him the next morning in the bushes, covered with blankets next to the girl.
Shaggy was threatening his mom at the meeting. He has beaten her up in the past, and even started beating up his father, before Dad got a lucky punch in, breaking his son's nose. At the meeting, he threatened to take his whole bottle of medication at one time. The meeting ended with him being hauled away in a squad car. I don't think I'll be seeing him any time soon.
Homeroom: I carried around two bags of candy that I had bought last night and passed them out to students that were quiet. I think by the end of the class, maybe half of the students got one. I also find it interesting that even I spent my own money and bought candy for my students, they will still complain and argue about the type of candy that I get. I always tell them that beggars can't be choosers, and they take offense to that, assuming I am referring to poverty.
I was attempting to teach with little success. Every five seconds, somebody was asking about the candy and then they continued to talk, which gave me good reason not to give them any. The Boy with the Tattooed Hands was one of the most irritating. I called his name and just chuckled. I had no plan to give him a check or get him in any major trouble. Instead, I was trying to make a point. He proved another point: He belongs at that school. His response to my chuckle was "you better not give me a check or I'll throw it at your face." I tested him, and sure enough, he threw it. He told me, "Get that fucking check out of my face." I made him leave, and as he was walking out the door, he said, "What you lookin' at, nigga?" to some student. I am pretty sure that he'll be suspended.
Teletubby continued to talk, and when I gave him a check, he told me, "Oh, you just like bein' evil, Mr. C-------." Truth be told, I think I do. I gave him another check and didn't even try to hide my smile.
Not a bad day for a Monday. Not a bad day at all.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
A taste of Southern culture...
I really enjoyed this weekend because it was something I never would be able to experience in Wisconsin. I also got to cross a few things off of my "to do" list.
After school on Friday, my uncle and I went to OysterFest. We had been signed up by another teacher to sell t-shirts. When we arrived, they had the booth filled so they asked us to walk around with our official OysterFest shirts and lead people in the right direction. I am by no means a model but I wore it well. We ended up getting a good sample of food, including raw oysters, fried catfish, fried alligator, and an oyster po-boy. We also made friends with a Carni. I was really surprised to learn that she was taking college courses online. She said that she just finished Algebra and could have used my help.
I saw a few familiar faces walking the grounds. One of my students had been kicked out of my third hour class earlier in the day. You would think he would hold some kind of grudge. Not at all. He came up to me with a smile on his face and shook my hand. Later that night, the kid that my uncle put up against a wall came up and spoke to him like they were good friends. Short memories, I guess.
We were about to leave when we were greeted by a pleasant surprise: Slowhand! He showed up with his wife. We talked for a while and Slowhand even bought us a couple of beers. Cross "drinking a beer with Slowhand" off of my list. I brought up the idea of playing a song for the students towards the end of the year, and he sounded receptive to it. I think it would be a riot.
I fell asleep early on Friday night and missed the end of the Badger game. Sounds like a good one.
Saturday was Judgment Day. I knew I wanted to participate in the oyster-eating contest. We went to the city early to watch the parade. They still threw out beads, though not nearly as many as Mardi Gras. Unfortunately, there were no boobs either.
After the parade, I got details on the contest and signed my name down. I was ready to go. We ended up getting picked up by a teacher and sitting by her pool in her extremely large and beautiful house.
Speaking of beautiful, that teacher's daughter...
Wow. I honestly feel guilty even looking at her, but she is amazing. I am still in awe of how pretty the girls are out here.
When we returned to the OysterFest and I picked my jaw up from off of the ground, I was all business. Since so few people decided to sign up, my uncle decided he'd give it a shot as well. Two o'clock came and we were ready to begin.
Because they had sold so many oysters during the weekend, they decided to alter the competition and make contestants take the oyster from the half-shell, dip it in sauce, and place it on a cracker before eating. It made the contest a lot harder because normally, you don't need to chew oysters.
There were only six of us in the competition which was a bit surprising. I thought more people would enter, especially because it was free. We had two minutes to eat as many oysters as we could.
I went out as hard as possible, cramming my mouth full of as many as I could. Through the first minute, I downed 10 or 11. I started hitting a wall and thought I might throw up a couple of times, but I ended up in second place with 17. The winner got 25. I don't know how that's even possible. My uncle ate 13, which was respectable considering I have him by probably 80-90 pounds. I won two t-shirts and the admiration of the locals. They couldn't believe a Wisconsinite could eat oysters like that.
After the contest, we went to the science teacher's house and played some basketball with her son. I was exhausted and was half-asleep when my uncle said it was time to go. I fell asleep immediately after we returned to the apartment.
I caught the second half of the LSU-North Carolina game. Much better than expected, but I knew the 'Heels would take them in the end. We decided to go back to the home of OysterFest to catch a band at the bar that sponsored the contest so I could get my free t-shirt.
It was a pretty cool bar. The band wasn't really my style of music (country and mostly covers) but they were good at what they did and the crowd seemed to really enjoy it. I have never seen a floor of 150 people doing the exact same dance to a country song before. Pretty neat.
Again, the girls there were really pretty and I was amazed at some of the guys that they were with. I got my t-shirt, which was another plus.
The teacher's daughter (aka Girl of my Dreams aka GOMD) was at the bar and spoke to us a little bit. I still am pathetically shy and can't talk to any girl I am attracted to. My uncle brought up several good points as to how I will never see any of these people again. Logically, it makes sense and I don't know why I have such an illogical fear, but I guess in that respect, I am very much like my students. I, too, am a product of my environment. Unfortunately, I have had bad luck in the past and my poor taste makes me hesitant to try again, fearing getting hurt. I notice that when the parents of my students pick them up, they usually start the conversation with "when I get home, I'm going to kick your ass." We are what we know.
Anyway, I guess the point is Mr. Freeze now works on a couple different levels. I freeze up around fights as well as beautiful girls. I think I will probably break up a fight before I summon the courage to really talk to her. We'll see.
Today was another great day. I went in to school for a little bit of work this morning, then back to OysterFest. I got to work at the fried oyster booth. We were out back, frying up oysters. It was a lot of fun and we snuck more than a few.
This afternoon, we drove down to Baton Rouge with the science teacher and her family. We stopped at a restaurant. I ate the seafood platter and probably won't be hungry again for another week. After that, we went to the LSU vs. Wisconsin-Green Bay Women's basketball game. It was pretty lucky that they happened to be playing each other in the NCAA tournament in Baton Rouge. The game was a lot better than I expected, but LSU ended up winning by 10. They have one player who is really good. It was fun seeing the campus and experiencing the atmosphere of a college game, although I was a bit disappointed by the low attendance.
I just finished up my lesson plans for this week. Only a week and a half until LEAP testing. We're really getting down to the wire now.
I had a fun weekend. On paper, it doesn't sound too impressive, but it made me feel like more a part of the community. Everybody that I've met in the south has been really friendly and I am happier and happier with my decision to take this risk every single day.
After school on Friday, my uncle and I went to OysterFest. We had been signed up by another teacher to sell t-shirts. When we arrived, they had the booth filled so they asked us to walk around with our official OysterFest shirts and lead people in the right direction. I am by no means a model but I wore it well. We ended up getting a good sample of food, including raw oysters, fried catfish, fried alligator, and an oyster po-boy. We also made friends with a Carni. I was really surprised to learn that she was taking college courses online. She said that she just finished Algebra and could have used my help.
I saw a few familiar faces walking the grounds. One of my students had been kicked out of my third hour class earlier in the day. You would think he would hold some kind of grudge. Not at all. He came up to me with a smile on his face and shook my hand. Later that night, the kid that my uncle put up against a wall came up and spoke to him like they were good friends. Short memories, I guess.
We were about to leave when we were greeted by a pleasant surprise: Slowhand! He showed up with his wife. We talked for a while and Slowhand even bought us a couple of beers. Cross "drinking a beer with Slowhand" off of my list. I brought up the idea of playing a song for the students towards the end of the year, and he sounded receptive to it. I think it would be a riot.
I fell asleep early on Friday night and missed the end of the Badger game. Sounds like a good one.
Saturday was Judgment Day. I knew I wanted to participate in the oyster-eating contest. We went to the city early to watch the parade. They still threw out beads, though not nearly as many as Mardi Gras. Unfortunately, there were no boobs either.
After the parade, I got details on the contest and signed my name down. I was ready to go. We ended up getting picked up by a teacher and sitting by her pool in her extremely large and beautiful house.
Speaking of beautiful, that teacher's daughter...
Wow. I honestly feel guilty even looking at her, but she is amazing. I am still in awe of how pretty the girls are out here.
When we returned to the OysterFest and I picked my jaw up from off of the ground, I was all business. Since so few people decided to sign up, my uncle decided he'd give it a shot as well. Two o'clock came and we were ready to begin.
Because they had sold so many oysters during the weekend, they decided to alter the competition and make contestants take the oyster from the half-shell, dip it in sauce, and place it on a cracker before eating. It made the contest a lot harder because normally, you don't need to chew oysters.
There were only six of us in the competition which was a bit surprising. I thought more people would enter, especially because it was free. We had two minutes to eat as many oysters as we could.
I went out as hard as possible, cramming my mouth full of as many as I could. Through the first minute, I downed 10 or 11. I started hitting a wall and thought I might throw up a couple of times, but I ended up in second place with 17. The winner got 25. I don't know how that's even possible. My uncle ate 13, which was respectable considering I have him by probably 80-90 pounds. I won two t-shirts and the admiration of the locals. They couldn't believe a Wisconsinite could eat oysters like that.
After the contest, we went to the science teacher's house and played some basketball with her son. I was exhausted and was half-asleep when my uncle said it was time to go. I fell asleep immediately after we returned to the apartment.
I caught the second half of the LSU-North Carolina game. Much better than expected, but I knew the 'Heels would take them in the end. We decided to go back to the home of OysterFest to catch a band at the bar that sponsored the contest so I could get my free t-shirt.
It was a pretty cool bar. The band wasn't really my style of music (country and mostly covers) but they were good at what they did and the crowd seemed to really enjoy it. I have never seen a floor of 150 people doing the exact same dance to a country song before. Pretty neat.
Again, the girls there were really pretty and I was amazed at some of the guys that they were with. I got my t-shirt, which was another plus.
The teacher's daughter (aka Girl of my Dreams aka GOMD) was at the bar and spoke to us a little bit. I still am pathetically shy and can't talk to any girl I am attracted to. My uncle brought up several good points as to how I will never see any of these people again. Logically, it makes sense and I don't know why I have such an illogical fear, but I guess in that respect, I am very much like my students. I, too, am a product of my environment. Unfortunately, I have had bad luck in the past and my poor taste makes me hesitant to try again, fearing getting hurt. I notice that when the parents of my students pick them up, they usually start the conversation with "when I get home, I'm going to kick your ass." We are what we know.
Anyway, I guess the point is Mr. Freeze now works on a couple different levels. I freeze up around fights as well as beautiful girls. I think I will probably break up a fight before I summon the courage to really talk to her. We'll see.
Today was another great day. I went in to school for a little bit of work this morning, then back to OysterFest. I got to work at the fried oyster booth. We were out back, frying up oysters. It was a lot of fun and we snuck more than a few.
This afternoon, we drove down to Baton Rouge with the science teacher and her family. We stopped at a restaurant. I ate the seafood platter and probably won't be hungry again for another week. After that, we went to the LSU vs. Wisconsin-Green Bay Women's basketball game. It was pretty lucky that they happened to be playing each other in the NCAA tournament in Baton Rouge. The game was a lot better than I expected, but LSU ended up winning by 10. They have one player who is really good. It was fun seeing the campus and experiencing the atmosphere of a college game, although I was a bit disappointed by the low attendance.
I just finished up my lesson plans for this week. Only a week and a half until LEAP testing. We're really getting down to the wire now.
I had a fun weekend. On paper, it doesn't sound too impressive, but it made me feel like more a part of the community. Everybody that I've met in the south has been really friendly and I am happier and happier with my decision to take this risk every single day.
Friday, March 20, 2009
A last chance
Today was a good day.
First period: two kids got the boot. The first wasn't a big surprise. I don't want to say that I target Step Six, but he is hard to miss. With the new seating chart, he sits right up front. He has yet to master the skill of keeping his mouth shut. He started talking and not doing his work. The kids were working on dry erase boards, and he was writing his name across his. I gave him a check, and he wrote it, then continued to doodle. Check two. I decided to blast him right then and there. I know he is a football player, and judging by his physique, he has quite a bit of potential. I asked him if played. He said yes. "You good?" Again, he told me that he was. Then came the hammer: "Does it bother you that in your entire career, you aren't going to play a single snap because you can't get out of this school?" He had some smartass comment about how he started as a freshman and then he made one mistake. I told him that I have made mistakes, but I learned from them, and he keeps making the same mistakes. He told me that my mistake was coming to this school trying to teach him. I had been fed up for quite some time with him so I got him out of there. Mind you, at this point, he had already completed a 27 problem multiple choice test in 2 minutes. Great effort.
The other person that got the boot was this obnoxious girl who is constantly running her mouth. It was the same girl that used the word "faggot" repeatedly yesterday. She wasn't doing her work, and I gave her a check. She grew extremely upset and told me she had finished the problem and then erased it. I watched her the entire time and knew she couldn't complete a seven part problem in 30 seconds. I told her not to lie. That was a mistake. She flipped out and started raising her voice. After a few seconds and several refusals to comply, I gave her the heave ho. I thought my problems with her were over, but she returned to the room to pick up her things and complain some more. I was busy writing up her disciplinary referral form when she opened the door. It was pretty awkward. She continued to complain about how she didn't do anything wrong and had been accused of lying. I asked her to leave several times and she got in a good scream before leaving. I made sure to add that to the referral.
Second period: I was surprised to see Candy Bar Man in class today. I expected him to be at his Step Six Hearing, but he told me that it wasn't until 10 and in the office. It was a pleasant surprise. My class acted wonderfully. Towards the end, Candy Bar Man got a little hungry and I promised the class some candy. Unfortunately, Miss Piggy returned to the room with five minutes remaining (she had left to call home because she was "sick"). I didn't want to start a firestorm, and I knew I only had four candy bars with five students now in the class. I promised the kids that I'd bring them candy on Monday. Candy Bar Man started talking to Miss Piggy, telling her that she hadn't been in there the entire time and asking her to "take one for the team". She didn't. I noticed that the Candy Bar Man's demeanor started to change during the last few minutes of class. I wished him luck for his hearing and told him to stop down and let me know how it went.
Third period went pretty well today, probably because Worm with Braids had taken his braids out and wasn't acting like a worm. His mom was in the room with him. I think he is smarter than she is. I was able to overhear her advising him on the problems we were going through. I am not a great teacher, but I know I have her beat.
I only made one student go outside and run in that class. He is undoubtedly the smartest student in that class, but he wasn't doing anything. I told him that he seemed tired and needed to wake up a bit and running would do the trick. He gave me quite the glare leaving the room.
The really big girl was back in class today. I let her makeup her test. She was in the back when she cried out, "I need to take this home. I ain't know none of this stuff." That butterball has the funniest sounding snarl. It make me smile.
Believe it or not, the most interesting part of my day was lunch. I sat down and was talking to the math coach when one of the special ed teachers came in and asked for a favor. Candy Bar Man's expulsion hearing was going on and he had requested that I be there. I agreed to sit in on the meeting.
When I reached the principal's office, I entered a circle which included the special ed teacher, Candy Bar Man, his mother, some man I didn't know, a counselor, and Sergeant Grinch. The sergeant was the first person to speak, going through the disciplinary problems that Candy Bar Man had caused. It was a long list, which honestly surprised me because he always does his work in my class and isn't defiant.
While the others were speaking, my eyes moved to Candy Bar Man. Gone was the big, pearly smile I was used to. I didn't hear any of his confident chatter and I didn't see his head bobbing. I saw a kid that was absolutely scared shitless. His head was down most of the time and he didn't make a sound. I can't imagine being in that situation, where I am one step away from losing everything.
Anyways, I was asked by the man in charge to talk a little bit about my relationship with Candy Bar Man. I admitted that he wasn't my smartest or best student, but I added that out of all of my students, he was the one that always made an effort in my class. I told the others that I made sure to keep him away from the other student that caused problems for him. I said that Candy Bar Man had a positive attitude while in math (which is apparently not the case in other rooms) and that he was respectful of me. I finished by saying that I looked forward to teaching him every day.
The other people spoke a bit and then the man in charge decided to give Candy Bar Man one more chance. He will now have an assigned seat in the cafeteria and has a behavior log to take from class to class. I missed all of my lunch and about fifteen minutes of fourth period.
As I was leaving, Candy Bar Man was walking out to go eat lunch. He looked at me and said, "Man, you had my back. You even lied for me!" Confused, I asked him what he meant. He said, "You said all of these nice things about me and you didn't even say how I was cussing in class yesterday." It was true that he was swearing at TwoTest and I hadn't mentioned it. I often wonder if these kids are so used to being told how worthless they are and reminded every time that they make a mistake that they lose sight of their positive qualities.
I told him that I meant what I said. I told him that he needed to learn when it was appropriate to joke around and when it wasn't. I also said that I really stuck my neck out for him and I didn't want him to make me look like an idiot. As he was walking away, I parted with, "My word means an awful lot. I hope that yours does, too." He looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you, sir." I don't believe these kids a whole lot, but for some reason, I believe that he meant that.
I felt pretty damn good going to my fourth period. That feeling was made even better when I got cheers upon my return. The math coach had covered for me. Suit Man still is under the impression that he is my VP. I had to give him a check for talking too much. It is very apparent to me that his actions are dictated by those around him. I spoke to him after class about talking too much and his excuse was his girlfriend is in the class. I wanted to tell him to wait a week and he'd be onto somebody else, but I just told him that he needs to be his own person and not let others define who he is. At any rate, the suit looked good today.
Ho Man was singing early and often in fifth period. I was smiling when I asked him about "If You Don't Know Me By Now". He had a puzzled look on his face until I started singing it softly. He started singing, then admitted that he couldn't remember how to sing it. Understandable since hit had been an entire day since he sang it. The other studnets finished the second line by belting, "You can never never sing, oooh". Ho Man said, "I know I can sing, brah."
A minute later, the stupid questions began. "Why are you always smiling?" asked Jamaican Mon. I told him that I was smiling because I was happy. Ho Man chuckled and said, "Oh man, you happy now? Wait until I get you some, OH LOOOORD!" I pray to God that I'll be waiting the rest of my life.
Big Kid in Camo got the boot today after he started accusing Ho Man of "sucking dick". Surprisngly enough, Ho Man took the higher road and stepped outside for a few minutes. After the big kid was gone, the class was wonderful: Ho Man, Jamaican Mon, and Skinny Kid in Camo. They were all doing their work and learning. When the man from the state department stopped in, they continued to do their work and ask questions. It was maybe three seconds after he left that Jamaican Mon started talking. "Man, you owe us some candy. We made you look good." I told him that I appreciated that they were all good today, but I added that I could make myself look good. I ended up giving the three remaining students candy. Whatever works.
I challenged my homeroom today. I offered to buy them a bag of candy if the entire class could go five minutes without takling. Attempt number one lasted two seconds (honestly, that's what it lasted according to my stopwatch). Attempt number two was a good thirty seconds. Then attempt number three, they really gave it hell. I walked around and checked my phone every so often for the timer, but they were perfect. It was almost eery. I decided to let them sweat a bit more. They ended up being quiet for ten whole minutes. I can't believe that they did it. Towards the end, I could tell that they were getting frustrated, but they made it. Unfortunately, the air horn was a bit behind today, so I had to hold them for ten minutes more than I had expected. The yelling and shouting resumed, and I was fighting for control.
After class, I was meeting with Slim. I decided to give him another chance in the classroom. I don't know how long it will last, but I am getting sick of meeting with one student. I guess we'll see.
A few minutes later, I was with the English teacher when I saw Candy Bar Man walk into my room, smile back on his face and swagger back in his step. "Hey, Mr. C---ayyyne!" he called out. Before I could say a word, the English teacher jumped down his throat. She told him that he was on his last chance and couldn't screw around at all or he'd be gone. I still have no clue how long he'll last.
It's a tough thing to watch. I don't know exactly what I see in him, but I know it's something worth fighting for. As skeptical as I am, I hope that his word means something. I hope he knows where he is right now and what would happen to him if he blows it. I don't really think he does, and that scares the hell out of me.
I had two big fears in coming out here:
I knew I'd be working with a bunch of troubled, punk kids with little chance for success. I didn't expect this to be a fun and easy job. I was really afraid that I wouldn't care.
I was even more afraid that I would.
First period: two kids got the boot. The first wasn't a big surprise. I don't want to say that I target Step Six, but he is hard to miss. With the new seating chart, he sits right up front. He has yet to master the skill of keeping his mouth shut. He started talking and not doing his work. The kids were working on dry erase boards, and he was writing his name across his. I gave him a check, and he wrote it, then continued to doodle. Check two. I decided to blast him right then and there. I know he is a football player, and judging by his physique, he has quite a bit of potential. I asked him if played. He said yes. "You good?" Again, he told me that he was. Then came the hammer: "Does it bother you that in your entire career, you aren't going to play a single snap because you can't get out of this school?" He had some smartass comment about how he started as a freshman and then he made one mistake. I told him that I have made mistakes, but I learned from them, and he keeps making the same mistakes. He told me that my mistake was coming to this school trying to teach him. I had been fed up for quite some time with him so I got him out of there. Mind you, at this point, he had already completed a 27 problem multiple choice test in 2 minutes. Great effort.
The other person that got the boot was this obnoxious girl who is constantly running her mouth. It was the same girl that used the word "faggot" repeatedly yesterday. She wasn't doing her work, and I gave her a check. She grew extremely upset and told me she had finished the problem and then erased it. I watched her the entire time and knew she couldn't complete a seven part problem in 30 seconds. I told her not to lie. That was a mistake. She flipped out and started raising her voice. After a few seconds and several refusals to comply, I gave her the heave ho. I thought my problems with her were over, but she returned to the room to pick up her things and complain some more. I was busy writing up her disciplinary referral form when she opened the door. It was pretty awkward. She continued to complain about how she didn't do anything wrong and had been accused of lying. I asked her to leave several times and she got in a good scream before leaving. I made sure to add that to the referral.
Second period: I was surprised to see Candy Bar Man in class today. I expected him to be at his Step Six Hearing, but he told me that it wasn't until 10 and in the office. It was a pleasant surprise. My class acted wonderfully. Towards the end, Candy Bar Man got a little hungry and I promised the class some candy. Unfortunately, Miss Piggy returned to the room with five minutes remaining (she had left to call home because she was "sick"). I didn't want to start a firestorm, and I knew I only had four candy bars with five students now in the class. I promised the kids that I'd bring them candy on Monday. Candy Bar Man started talking to Miss Piggy, telling her that she hadn't been in there the entire time and asking her to "take one for the team". She didn't. I noticed that the Candy Bar Man's demeanor started to change during the last few minutes of class. I wished him luck for his hearing and told him to stop down and let me know how it went.
Third period went pretty well today, probably because Worm with Braids had taken his braids out and wasn't acting like a worm. His mom was in the room with him. I think he is smarter than she is. I was able to overhear her advising him on the problems we were going through. I am not a great teacher, but I know I have her beat.
I only made one student go outside and run in that class. He is undoubtedly the smartest student in that class, but he wasn't doing anything. I told him that he seemed tired and needed to wake up a bit and running would do the trick. He gave me quite the glare leaving the room.
The really big girl was back in class today. I let her makeup her test. She was in the back when she cried out, "I need to take this home. I ain't know none of this stuff." That butterball has the funniest sounding snarl. It make me smile.
Believe it or not, the most interesting part of my day was lunch. I sat down and was talking to the math coach when one of the special ed teachers came in and asked for a favor. Candy Bar Man's expulsion hearing was going on and he had requested that I be there. I agreed to sit in on the meeting.
When I reached the principal's office, I entered a circle which included the special ed teacher, Candy Bar Man, his mother, some man I didn't know, a counselor, and Sergeant Grinch. The sergeant was the first person to speak, going through the disciplinary problems that Candy Bar Man had caused. It was a long list, which honestly surprised me because he always does his work in my class and isn't defiant.
While the others were speaking, my eyes moved to Candy Bar Man. Gone was the big, pearly smile I was used to. I didn't hear any of his confident chatter and I didn't see his head bobbing. I saw a kid that was absolutely scared shitless. His head was down most of the time and he didn't make a sound. I can't imagine being in that situation, where I am one step away from losing everything.
Anyways, I was asked by the man in charge to talk a little bit about my relationship with Candy Bar Man. I admitted that he wasn't my smartest or best student, but I added that out of all of my students, he was the one that always made an effort in my class. I told the others that I made sure to keep him away from the other student that caused problems for him. I said that Candy Bar Man had a positive attitude while in math (which is apparently not the case in other rooms) and that he was respectful of me. I finished by saying that I looked forward to teaching him every day.
The other people spoke a bit and then the man in charge decided to give Candy Bar Man one more chance. He will now have an assigned seat in the cafeteria and has a behavior log to take from class to class. I missed all of my lunch and about fifteen minutes of fourth period.
As I was leaving, Candy Bar Man was walking out to go eat lunch. He looked at me and said, "Man, you had my back. You even lied for me!" Confused, I asked him what he meant. He said, "You said all of these nice things about me and you didn't even say how I was cussing in class yesterday." It was true that he was swearing at TwoTest and I hadn't mentioned it. I often wonder if these kids are so used to being told how worthless they are and reminded every time that they make a mistake that they lose sight of their positive qualities.
I told him that I meant what I said. I told him that he needed to learn when it was appropriate to joke around and when it wasn't. I also said that I really stuck my neck out for him and I didn't want him to make me look like an idiot. As he was walking away, I parted with, "My word means an awful lot. I hope that yours does, too." He looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you, sir." I don't believe these kids a whole lot, but for some reason, I believe that he meant that.
I felt pretty damn good going to my fourth period. That feeling was made even better when I got cheers upon my return. The math coach had covered for me. Suit Man still is under the impression that he is my VP. I had to give him a check for talking too much. It is very apparent to me that his actions are dictated by those around him. I spoke to him after class about talking too much and his excuse was his girlfriend is in the class. I wanted to tell him to wait a week and he'd be onto somebody else, but I just told him that he needs to be his own person and not let others define who he is. At any rate, the suit looked good today.
Ho Man was singing early and often in fifth period. I was smiling when I asked him about "If You Don't Know Me By Now". He had a puzzled look on his face until I started singing it softly. He started singing, then admitted that he couldn't remember how to sing it. Understandable since hit had been an entire day since he sang it. The other studnets finished the second line by belting, "You can never never sing, oooh". Ho Man said, "I know I can sing, brah."
A minute later, the stupid questions began. "Why are you always smiling?" asked Jamaican Mon. I told him that I was smiling because I was happy. Ho Man chuckled and said, "Oh man, you happy now? Wait until I get you some, OH LOOOORD!" I pray to God that I'll be waiting the rest of my life.
Big Kid in Camo got the boot today after he started accusing Ho Man of "sucking dick". Surprisngly enough, Ho Man took the higher road and stepped outside for a few minutes. After the big kid was gone, the class was wonderful: Ho Man, Jamaican Mon, and Skinny Kid in Camo. They were all doing their work and learning. When the man from the state department stopped in, they continued to do their work and ask questions. It was maybe three seconds after he left that Jamaican Mon started talking. "Man, you owe us some candy. We made you look good." I told him that I appreciated that they were all good today, but I added that I could make myself look good. I ended up giving the three remaining students candy. Whatever works.
I challenged my homeroom today. I offered to buy them a bag of candy if the entire class could go five minutes without takling. Attempt number one lasted two seconds (honestly, that's what it lasted according to my stopwatch). Attempt number two was a good thirty seconds. Then attempt number three, they really gave it hell. I walked around and checked my phone every so often for the timer, but they were perfect. It was almost eery. I decided to let them sweat a bit more. They ended up being quiet for ten whole minutes. I can't believe that they did it. Towards the end, I could tell that they were getting frustrated, but they made it. Unfortunately, the air horn was a bit behind today, so I had to hold them for ten minutes more than I had expected. The yelling and shouting resumed, and I was fighting for control.
After class, I was meeting with Slim. I decided to give him another chance in the classroom. I don't know how long it will last, but I am getting sick of meeting with one student. I guess we'll see.
A few minutes later, I was with the English teacher when I saw Candy Bar Man walk into my room, smile back on his face and swagger back in his step. "Hey, Mr. C---ayyyne!" he called out. Before I could say a word, the English teacher jumped down his throat. She told him that he was on his last chance and couldn't screw around at all or he'd be gone. I still have no clue how long he'll last.
It's a tough thing to watch. I don't know exactly what I see in him, but I know it's something worth fighting for. As skeptical as I am, I hope that his word means something. I hope he knows where he is right now and what would happen to him if he blows it. I don't really think he does, and that scares the hell out of me.
I had two big fears in coming out here:
I knew I'd be working with a bunch of troubled, punk kids with little chance for success. I didn't expect this to be a fun and easy job. I was really afraid that I wouldn't care.
I was even more afraid that I would.
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