I made it to the end of another week. Today, we finished up EOC testing. I once again got paid for doing next to nothing. It hasn't been a bad gig this week.
I held my homeroom for the entire morning again. Today, we watched Rudy. Before I popped the movie in, a couple of boys (Jam Master Jay and a new student) had a heated discussion about who was better, Lebron James or Kobe Bryant. I weighed in (Lebron) and it started to get a bit out of control. After I calmed the boys down, I popped the movie in and kicked my feet up for a bit.
The Social Studies teacher had a relatively empty room, so he pulled a few students from my class. Most of them happened to be girls, so I was left with a sausage fest. Jam Master Jay instantly piped in with his high, whiny voice. He wanted to go to FLC so he could look at girls. I never let him go.
A woman who works for a group in charge of helping maintain alternative schools was visiting today. I was told to make sure my kids' clothes were appropriate and they were doing what they were supposed to be doing. The security woman gave me a warning that she was on the way. I just made sure that all my students were awake. I was introduced to this woman, and she left my room about 30 seconds later. I continued watching the movie.
Slowly, but surely, my students lost interest. Heads started falling slowly towards desks. When the woman came back unannounced about 30 minutes later, half of my class was asleep. The Boy with the Tattooed Hands' mother was snoring in the back of the class. I didn't care. When Rudy is on, I can't focus on much else.
It is amazing how illogical my students are. I wonder how they could ever enjoy any movies besides those aimed at young children. I had a boy ask me if Rudy would turn down an offer when he made it to Notre Dame. "He doesn't end up going, right?" the kid asked. Not sure how anybody could watch that movie and predict that outcome, but maybe he likes his plot twists.
I have loosened up on the "no gum chewing" rule, but Onepac and Big Kid in Camo (both taken from the English teacher's class, who was busy testing) were smacking theirs so loudly that I had to walk around with the garbage can and force the kids to spit it out. Onepac claimed that he didn't have any, so I sat back down and kept my eye on him. He continued chewing for the rest of the movie.
The movie concluded (somehow I didn't cry when he got the sack at end) and I let my students go on the computers for the 45 minutes that remained in class. I noticed Onepac was still chewing gum, so I gave him a check. "Man, I ain't chewin' no gum," he said, but he still wrote the check.
Only The Boy with the Tattooed Hands was doing his extra credit math work, and I know that was only because his mother was in. Mom decided she was going to attempt to be a disciplinarian and start telling some of my students what to do. Maybe not a good idea, because she can't even control her own son. She did later tell me that seeing the way these kids act makes a person not want to have kids. Probably true.
I spent my time between aiding Tattooed Hands and monitoring my students on their computers. I spotted Onepac chewing again, so I gave him check number two. Once again, he claimed he didn't have gum, but wrote the check anyways.
Five minutes later, when I saw the bluish green gum in Onepac's mouth, I pulled him out into the hallway to talk. I told him that he was making a very small issue into something major. He agree. "You tellin' the truth this time." He told me he would spit it out, which he did, and straighten up.
When he went into class and began running around and talking to everybody in the room, I made him move to the front of the class and begin a work packet. He didn't so much as look at it and continued talking to the person behind him and began his Godawful rapping. I gave him the boot. In the hallway, I told him he had the option of running or going to FLC, and I threatened to write him up. He told me he couldn't run, but he would do pushups. When I asked him how many he could do, he said, "About 100." I agreed to those terms.
When the horn sounded moments later, I stood in amazement as i watched this scrawny, short-armed kid struggle through pushups like nobody I had ever seen before. Every 2 or 3 pushups, he would fall to the ground and roll over in agony. I couldn't help but laugh. It took him a solid five minutes to do 50, and I cherished every second. I told him that he could do the rest after lunch.
I spent most of my lunch period in my room. I tried being social for a while by going into one of the special ed rooms and chatting with some teachers, but it was more than I could bear. The excitement today came a few minutes before the kids returned and I looked at the end of the hallway and saw a stone cold fox. A few steps further confirmed my suspicions: GOMD. I needed to retreat for a moment to come up with a line. I figured saying hello was as good as any so I started walking down there, ready to break the ice for the first time. Of course, as I got within 30 feet of her, she walked out the door. Today would have been the day, too...
I was excited for fourth period because last night I bought Teletubby's candy for winning the bet. I didn't think he would enjoy Circus Peanuts too much, but I guess that was the point. I was disappointed to learn at the beginning of fourth period that he had gotten in trouble during lunch. Apparently, Sergeant Grinch had called him big (or fat), and he responded by calling him a "monkey". He came in towards the end and I decided it was not the time to give him any candy.
We watched the second half of Remember the Titans in the afternoon classes. Suit Man decided it was a good idea to tell the entire class what happens in the movie about ten minutes before it happened. I was not pleased.
Fifth period was a bit more lively than fourth. I gave Big Kid in Camo the boot. Earlier in the day, he had grabbed my hands when I tried to steer him away from Youtube. He began his fifth period by blocking the door so none of his classmates could enter. He had an extra credit packet, which was fine, but he turned his desk around to face The Mouth and Smiley, and began talking loudly to them. He continued the behavior by taking out some dental floss and flossing right in The Mouth's face. He even came over by me to show me what he was doing. He continued by grabbing the entire container of dental floss and put it in his mouth. He then got out of his desk, walked over to Linda Blair and got right in her face.
Two checks in, I asked Big Kid to turn his desk around and finish writing the checks. He was in no hurry to do so, so I decided to kick him out. I wasn't in the mood for patience, and I knew all the teachers would appreciate if I was able to get him out of school, so I kicked him out and wrote him up. He got three days out of school suspension.
Linda Blair was not happy with me for making them watch the movie. Apparently, I had told them that they could go on the computers today. She called me a liar atleast five times during class.
When Onepac was talking, I decided to take him out in the hall and made him finish the pushups that he owed me. When he finished, I told him, "Next time, don't say you can do 100."
No Ho Man today. I was heartbroken.
Before homeroom, Teletubby came in to ask for his candy, telling me he was about to leave. When I gave it to him, he said, "You got me some nasty candy, but thank you." I was shocked. I would have bet $100 that he would say, "You wrong for this, Mr. C--------."
Computers again during homeroom. I had a list of the students that made it to school every day this week, which I announced during this time. They are rewarded with a snack before PE, which is designed to motivate students to come to school (even though I don't think we want that). I had the full names of my students on the sheet, so that's what I called. There was a motivation behind this. I often make fun of Jam Master Jay for his middle name of Carlene. He pronounces it "car lin", while I say "car leen". Somehow, The Big White Kid guessed my middle name (James) after two tries. Jam Master Jay started calling me by it, so I gave him a check, because I had asked him to stop several times.
I talked to him in the hallway a minute later, trying to explain how authority figures should be treated with respect. I also reminded him that he was only two weeks from getting out of this school and he needed to be extremely careful about what he said or did. I ended the conversation by saying, "Do you follow me, Carlene?" That comment received a pretty big smile.
During PE, I went out to find Teletubby. He didn't enjoy his candy. "Them was nasty. Gimme some jolly ranchers," he said. Mission accomplished.
I went out to watch the kids line up for the buses. Linda Blair once again told me I was wrong for what I did in class. She also showed me that she can spit about 20 feet. Pretty incredible.
I went up to Onepac, who was not happy to see me, and told him that if he was going to walk by me glaring and trying to intimidate (which he did after homeroom), he should atleast be able to do three pushups in successions. "Man, don't even talk to me," he said.
Only other news of the day:
1) The woman who came in to observe said we are one of, if not, the best alternative school that she has visited. That's hard to believe. I can't imagine what the others are like.
2) Apparently a girl was telling people she was going to kill herself. My uncle was in a meeting with her, her mother, and some other faculty. He tried to get across the point that suicide was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Slowhand's comment: "Nah...you might wanna start...by improving yourself...Them two earrings? Take them out...Isn't there a rule against that? Huh? Huh? Huh?" I know he'd be the one to talk me down from the ledge.
3) Big Kid in Camo told me that I didn't need to write him up, and he also said that his daddy was going to come to school and "set me straight". He said this while hitting his hand. I made sure to leave the school early today.
4) Only 8.5 more days with kids.
I apologize for the sloppiness of this entry. I am about to pick up another friend from the Nawlins airport and go for another round on Bourbon Street. Wish me luck!
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