Saying Goodbye to the NHS students

Today was probably the last day I'll ever see Teletubby, Jam Master Jay, Psycho T, The Silver Tongue, Rosie, Dumbo, Strahan, Dogface, Lady Cheaterly, Big White Kid, etc. A lot of my favorites (Skinny Kid, Ho Man, and Candy Bar Man) were not even at school. Needless to say, it was a pretty bittersweet day.

It was to be a pretty unique day. Only a half-day in the schedule, administration decided that it would be the time we held the auction, where kids could bid on items with whatever money they had left over. All of the checks I demanded wiped out quite a few accounts. Anyways, I figured it'd be a fun day for the kids and would also allow me to do something I'd never done before.

My homeroom class came to me as I waited for the word to let them go to the cafeteria for the auction. It took a little longer than expected, so I hung out and shot the breeze. I decided that it being the last day of class, it was an opportunity to lighten up a bit. Nothing wrong with showing my students that I, too, am human. Jam Master Jay had Starbursts he was sharing, and I told him that I didn't care as long as he gave me one. He was also chewing gum. Oh well.

The conversation once again revolved around the very important question: Lebron or Kobe? It seemed like a nearly unanimous decision for Lebron, but Jam Master Jay still hates him. Jokingly, I gave him a check, citing how it had been a while. He went to the garbage can, tore it into pieces and then decided to throw it up in the air with arms outstretched, mocking Lebron James's pregame routine. Pretty funny.

The kids were getting a bit restless, so I was pleased when I finally got word to send them around 8:40.

The auction began with a surprise performance. A surprise for the students, that is. I had been practicing with Slowhand and the sergeants all week. My uncle got the crazy idea that Slowhand and I should play a song together after he learned that Slowhand was taking bass lessons and sang at church. I agreed, not really believing it would ever happen. It did. With a little help from my uncle, I rewrote the words to Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues". Here is the NHS version:

N-------- High School Blues

I hear the bus a comin’
Down Highway 51
And I ain’t seen my home school since they told me I was done
I’m stuck at N-------- High School and time keeps draggin’ on
But my teacher keeps a talkin’ and class is running long

When I was just in 6th grade, Sergeant (Grinch) told me, son
“Always be a good boy, and quit flappin’ your gums”
But I threatened Sergeant (Hardass) and faced my greatest fear
I heard that man a shoutin’, “Get on over here!”

I bet Miss (Principal) is laughing when she sees I’m written up
She probably thinks I’m crazy and I just can’t get enough
Well I know I had it coming, know why I got expelled
But those people keep a pushin’
That’s why it doesn’t help

Well if they freed me from this high school
If that home-based school was mine
I know I’d keep my act straight, straight on down the line
Far from N-------- High School, that’s where I want to stay
And I’d let that lonesome horn blast all my blues away

As I said, Slowhand sang while I played guitar. The two sergeants mentioned in the song also spoke their lines in their "usual" tones. Between the second and third verses, I played a little instrumental solo while the sergeants started shouting out random things. Sergeant Grinch really got into it. Not only was he cutting a rug, but he yelled at some boy and forced him to do pushups in front of everybody.

A few things come to mind while looking back on our performance:

1) The staff and the students both thought it was absolutely hilarious.

2) Slowhand and I were both dressed in black. Slowhand had on some fancy boots and a ten gallon hat.

3) I didn't play it very well. I started too slow, then sped up to try to catch up to Slowhand, who was singing too fast. I hit some bum bass notes and I also didn't play loudly enough.

4) It didn't matter.

The truth is, I have always been afraid to play my guitar in front of people. Playing in front of one other person is terrifying. I am far from good, although I realize few people can tell the difference. Today, I played an incredibly easy (three chord) song pretty poorly. However, that's not at all what I'll remember. I got up in front of 80-100 that I didn't know four months ago and played my guitar. There is no chance in hell I could have done that a few months ago.

Check "Play an open mic with Slowhand" off my list of things to do in Louisiana.

After the kids calmed down, the auction started. We had informed the students that it was to be a silent auction. They used their time cards (what they bring to me first thing in the morning) which had dollar amounts on the back. After an item was presented and a dollar amount was called by one of the teachers (see: long rant from yesterday about the teacher forced to resign) students held up their time cards. As soon as the amount was high enough so only one student had their card raised, the "final bid" was locked in place. "Going once, twice, sold!" In theory, it was pretty easy.

Of course, our students had all sorts of problems. Several had issues raising their arms all the way up. One student won an Itunes gift, and then decided he didn't want it, so he blew his money for nothing. Kids didn't realize that they could bid up to the amount of money that they had. For example, if somebody had $20 remaining, they would have their card up at $18, but would lower it when $20 was announced.

And of course, one of the special ed teachers (the only one not getting fired) had to flex her muscles. Very few students know who she is, but she decided that she would take it upon herself to call out how many students had their time cards raised. At every single dollar amount. I wish that Suit Man would have come to school with his gun, because she was driving me nuts. It was absolutely unbearable.

I sat down and took it all in. I noticed that these kids aren't very strategic. I noticed that when the items first appeared, the bids were high. An IPOD shuffle was going for $200. Towards the latter half of the auction, that cost was cut in half. Patience is a virtue.

I also didn't understand why the kids seemed to be anti-gift card. There were gift cards, ranging from WalMart, to Itunes, to GoPhone. I remember that one of the Itunes gift cards went for $7. Remember that this is not real money and the students get $30 a week for coming to school and not getting any checks.

I plopped down next to the English teacher and was also by a few of my most interesting students. The Silver Tongue made several mentions of what she thought of me. Earlier that day in the hallway, I had said hello to her. She responded, "I don't want your big, ugly head talking to me." I responded with three words: Pot. Kettle. Black. It went right over her head. While I was sitting down, she turned to me and said, "I don't like you. Don't talk to me." A minute later, she asked me to throw away her gum. When I refused, she was stunned.

Teletubby was also sitting nearby. He was gabbing with his little lady friends and said, "I would have a lot of money, but it's one person's fault." I turned to him and said, "Yeah. Yours." He responded, "Uhh, no, Mr. C--------. It was all you." A minute later when he was talking, I told the big kid in the green shirt and black vest that didn't cover his large belly, "You look like a big turtle." Once again, he had a reply: "So? You look like an airhead." I decided that the only way to get him back was to tell him to bid on things, knowing he was out of money. I was "wrong for that".

The items, which included MP3 players, GoPhones, IPODs, Itunes and Walmart gift cards, phone cards, glow sticks, watches, makeup, a portable DVD player, and other things, were about out and it was decided that a little bit of time had to be killed before the buses arrived around 11:00. The teachers decided to ask random trivia questions and award suckers to those that knew the answers. Pretty dumb. The only trivia question I enjoyed was: "On the high school side, which teacher gives out the most checks?" An explosive chorus belted out "Mr. C-------!!!" Jam Master Jay made his way up to me and lifted my right hand high into the air as if I had just won the heavyweight title. I couldn't help but laugh. Lots of students got that answer correct.

Teletubby's final words that he spoke (and likely will ever speak) to me were as follows:

"Mr. C------, come over here. Mr. C-------, is dat you real hair?" After I replied yes, he asked if he could check and gave my hair a pretty strong tug. "Ooooh, it really is." Fitting.

The auction wound down and the buses came. It was time to say goodbye.

It couldn't have been difficult for the kids. They were all excited for summer vacation, and for some, the opportunity to go back to their old schools and return to a "normal" high school life. It was a bit harder for me. Although I didn't show it, I was a bit sad. I will never see them again. Jam Master Jay shook my hand. Psycho T gave me a high five as she was shouting with joy. Rosie glared at me, before softening to a smile and saying goodbye. The Silver Tongue told me not to talk to her. As the bus was leaving, I saw the back of a large head met with a meaty paw. I yelled out and Teletubby turned around, giving me a weak wave. Goodbye.

After my students were gone (forever), the staff had a cookout. The sergeants had brought a large grill, filled with various meats. The men on staff paid for the meat while the women brought dishes to pass. It was delicious and I think it will allow me to skip my dollar TV dinner tonight. I will say that our staff had never been bigger than it was today, eating in that cafeteria.

After some chit-chat, a two minute visit (literally) from the superintendent, and a faculty photo, I was back in my room cleaning. I didn't get much done, opting instead to play computer games and save it for tomorrow.

So my students are gone. It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but I know that when it does, it'll be an awkward feeling. I want to make sure I keep the lines of communication open with some staff members, if for no other reason than to know what becomes of some of "my kids". They might not miss me, but I will sure as hell miss them.

Tomorrow is my last day of employment for this school district. I have been asked by several people whether or not I'm coming back. They seem disappointed when I tell them that I'm not. Part of me is disappointed too. I wish the answers were all written in a book. I atleast wish that I had a teacher a bit better than me who could explain it all to me and help me figure out my next move. The one thing I do know for certain is that this experience will help me down the road. I just wish I knew how.