Mo Standardized Tests, Mo Problems

There are very few days since I've been here where I can say that I didn't earn my paycheck. Today would be one of those days. Not a whole lot of work was done. In fact, Ralph probably worked harder than me.

That isn't to say that I couldn't find something to irritate me. Today started our week of End of Course (EOC) testing. I began with an Algebra I section that included Jam Master Jay, Chocolate Crotch Crammer, and Lady Cheaterly.

Rant of the day: First of all, I think it is incredible unfair that these students who were just subjected to LEAP testing that determines whether or not they move on to the next grade have to take tests that determine whether or not they pass my class only a month later. They found out about these tests a week or two earlier and they should have known since the beginning of the course. Secondly, if these tests are so extremely important, I do not know why on earth they are computer-based when our network is complete and utter garbage. Furthermore, having the entire parish testing at the same time only magnifies the problem.

My group of seven attempted to log into their tests, and the English teacher informed me a minute later that network was down throughout the entire state. A few minutes later, I told them to go on math related websites. A few minutes later, I was instructed by another man who I have seen a few times that other schools were having success with the testing, so I told my kids to move to another computer and try it again. Didn't work. Once again, they were on other websites, playing games. Finally, an hour after testing was supposed to be started, I was told to give it a third try. Third time's a charm and it worked.

Of course, the program crashed several times. Every time that a student was kicked off, their testing section closed and I had to log into my account, re-open their test for them, and then they had to log in to continue their test. A few students would finish a problem or two, get kicked off, have to go through the entire procedure, then get kicked off again.

I had a terrible feeling that testing would not go smoothly at all. To my students' credit, they handled it incredibly well. I apologized several times for all the technical difficulties, and they all seemed to be extremely understanding.

At approximately 10:15, the EOC tests were called off for the day in the entire parish. The schedule had stated that I was to finish all three sections of the Algebra I test with my first group. I had four students finish the first section, while three were still working on it. Feeling bad, I loosened up control on the computers, and told that as long as they stayed off of MySpace, Youtube, music, and violent video games, I would be fine with them doing whatever they wanted to do.

It was an interesting forty minutes for me. They didn't test my authority. They didn't even play games. Most of those kids ended up going on websites of their home schools. They looked up former team pictures, shots of dances, old friends, etc. It was the first time I saw some of my students as who they were and who they wanted to be instead of the current NHS students that they are. Jam Master Jay was excited to show me pictures of the school he is hoping to attend his senior year in Georgia. They were the division 5A state champions in 2008. He seemed really proud of the stadium he hopes to play in and the uniform he hopes to wear. I really do believe that most of these students do want to do the right thing. They just don't have the dedication to work at it.

As the clock neared 11, I rewarded the kids with some candy for being so cooperative and understanding and they ventured to lunch. I will have to finish testing with them tomorrow. I am not certain that this test will even count. I think it may be up to the teacher's discretion, and I personally will not hold it against any of my students.

During the afternoon, I had my fourth and fifth period students in my class. I did make lesson plans for the week, but I knew I wouldn't use them. I gave the kids an opportunity to finish their worksheets and quizzes from last week or go on the computer and work on math websites.

It was early in the period when I was speaking with Slowhand. He asked me if Ralph was a friend from school. After I said no, he asked, "So, nah, is he, uhhh, gonna stay on board nah?" As much as I would enjoy that and as cool as it would be for me to be able to get any of my jobs at this backward school, I had to tell him that I didn't think that was likely. Truth be told, I was a bit disappointed that my friend didn't get the complete Slowhand experience today. He was speaking much too fast and Ralph never got to see that legendary typing. I suppose it is all the more incentive to come back down.

Anyways, Teletubby came to fourth period late. When I redirected him for talking to much, he started going off on me, complaining that I was the reason that he would still be at NHS next year (verdict is still out on that). He told me that I was the only teacher that ever gave him any checks. Apparently, another teacher had shown him all of his checks, and I will admit that I give more checks than anybody else in the school. I responded to his complaint by giving him another check. When he continued complaining, I told him, "Write it for ten." "Whatever," he said, "I will see you next year." Hopefully not, for both of our sakes.

Truth be told, I think Teletubby is one of the most entertaining students that I have. I do look forward to seeing him each day. Once again today, he couldn't get off of the "gimme a peppermint" idea, so I ended up making a deal with him. In writing, I told him that I would give him a very large bag of candy if he could make it an entire class period without talking out of turn. On the flipside, he signed his name, promising that he would run the entire class period on May 20th if he was unable to go without talking out of turn for an entire class period before that given day. I will save that piece of paper and do my best to hold it against him. When I had it in my hand, I couldn't abstain from showing it to everybody around me and laughing like a six year old at the circus.

Suit Man and I had a bit of an altercation during class. He had decided that he was through with the math activities and decided to look up guitar tabs instead. I asked him to navigate away from that website and go back to where he was instructed to be. Instead, he got off the computer and beginning groaning loudly. I asked him what the issue was. He started with the "every other teacher lets me..." bit which wore out its' welcome long ago. My uncle happened to be passing by and told him that he didn't have time to listen to it and instructed him to write down his complaint on paper. I never got to read it, but I saw that it began with "OK". Probably not the best way to begin a persuasive essay. Anyways, after he was finished, he tucked it into his coat pocket, went back on the computer and angrily poked away the keyboard. Fed up, I gave him two checks. He shook my hand before the end of the day and we made peace. He told me that he has been under a lot of pressure lately because he got his first church (didn't follow or believe). I like the kid, but he may not be the best one to preach the Word. Just my humble opinion.

I ended up tearing up a check I had given Teletubby later in class for playfully slapping a girl. Part of me wanted to send him outside to run to give my buddy a show, but I knew that his actions didn't warrant such discipline. I do like the guy (in a way, I suppose) and I would be happy if he made it back to his old school.

Fifth period was much the same as fourth. More computer time. I taught one of the new girls how to do a few math problems from her worksheet, and then I spent the remainder of the time monitoring my students' websites. I kicked Big Kid in Camo out of class after he tried to get on Youtube several times to listen to a Gucci Mane song. He once again told me that today would be his last day at school. He will undoubtedly tell me the same thing tomorrow.

Skinny Kid (formerly) in Camo spent the first half of the class outside running for getting in trouble during passing time. The hardass sergeant must have worked him like a dog because he was so wet that he looked like he jumped into the Mississippi upon returning to class. Besides slight agitations, he stayed in line for the remainder of the period.

The Mouth and Linda Blair sat together and didn't cause any disturbances. I actually spent the latter part of the hour playing Family Feud with The Mouth. Believe it or not, she must have selected answers that corresponded with my thoughts about 70% of the time. They aren't all that dumb, even if their decisions are.

The Mouth even gave me a "compliment". She told me that I needed to find a different kind of woman, because the English teacher (who I am apparently now dating) is nasty and desperate. She has been married for seven years, I believe.

TB showed me his weekend purchase: a tongue ring. Can't say that improved my opinion of him (which is relatively high) and I also can't say that I wasn't tempted to tell him what I have heard about guys with tongue rings.

After spreading a pack of Snickers bars to my class, I was ready for homeroom. I didn't prepare a single thing for the new curriculum, so I let them go on the computers. I didn't have any issues besides The Instigator deciding to hit another girl. Even though it was joking, I gave her a check and told her that she can't do that, even if she's playing. She said, "Man, I should bulldoze you." Feeling provocative, I said, "Go ahead." She dropped her shoulders and lunged at my knees, causing an embarrassing flinch. I told her to write her check for ten and that was that.

After class, I met with Toad's (4th period) mother. Her famil8y had allegedly requested that she be placed in special ed. All of the teachers agreed that she didn't need it (anymore than a "normal" NHS student) and it even appeared like her guardians agreed. I wasn't sure the real purpose of the meeting besides perhaps a mother proving a point to a misguided daughter. I left before I got irritated by the incessant babbling of the other teachings.

Watching the students line up for the buses, I felt an elbow against my side. It was The Instigator. I jokingly said to her to watch where her elbows went. She looked at me and said, "Next time, it'll be your head," before walking on. She is crazy enough to be telling the truth, too.

It wasn't a really exciting day at NHS. I was hoping for some more action for Ralph. He echoed the sentiment my uncle's friend shared: the potential is certainly there. One day can't really give this place justice, but you can see how it certainly differs from a normal school the moment you set foot on the grounds.

I am hoping the computers work better tomorrow. Also, for the first time, I will have the opportunity to look at the lists of who has a chance of leaving the program. That's the lone motivation I will need to get me through the three weeks that remain, which I suspect will see diminished numbers and decreasing issues. However, I've learned not to bet on anything here. One day certainly doesn't mirror the next.