I am writing this from my home computer desk in the great state of Wisconsin as I am eating some frozen chocolate chip cookies that I stole from my mother's freezer. It feels pretty good to be home.
Yesterday was my last official day at NHS. I can't say that I got any work done at all, but I will get paid and got to say goodbye to some special people, so it was a good day in my book.
Friday started off a bit rocky. The first thing that the English teacher told me was it looked like I just rolled out of bed. She was partially correct. I was carrying with me a decent hangover from the night before, when I had consumed two 20 oz. daiquiris, and a large and a medium margarita from Mi Patio. Note: The large margarita at Mi Patio is the same size as the Extra Grande margarita from La Careta's. Luckily, my cell phone had been dead for several days, so I was unable to send any idiotic text messages.
I did not feel guilty about wearing my Wisconsin pride in the form of a headache to my last day of work for a few different reasons:
1. There were no students in the school. All I was supposed to do was "clean" my room, and I didn't need to do much with that because my room is being used for LEAP summer remediation.
2. I was out drinking with my boss the night before.
3. She also said she "didn't feel great".
4. Both the hardass sergeant and the assistant principal (Huggy Bear) were drunk. At 8:30 in the morning.
We had a morning meeting which was pretty entertaining. Huggy Bear got up and spoke for what seemed like an eternity. I thought Slowhand was a slow speaker, but Huggy Bear makes him sound like Skinny Kid. Huggy Bear is probably the most worthless employee of all time. He sits in his office all day every day and reads the paper. He gave a speech about how he is always fighting for NHS and wants us to make sure that others don't talk bad about the school. It is quite a fight he must be fighting with his feet up on his desk in his office. I guess there's that Southern work ethic.
As I said, I did very little work. I threw away a bunch of loose papers. My big find for the day was the check that Shaggy had written for me way back when he had his meltdown, punching the board in my room. That incident led to him threatening his grandmother. He is now locked up. I gave it to my uncle as a souvenir.
The rest of my morning was spent hanging out with the sergeant across the hall and playing computer games. Again, I was getting paid to do this.
At eleven, the entire staff went to Mike's Catfish Inn for lunch. Knowing my time was up, I ordered a seafood platter and enjoyed fried oysters, fried catfish, and fried shrimp Louisiana-style one final time. I will genuinely miss the food here.
The principal spoke and gave out plaques to Slowhand, Sleepy, and my uncle. They are not technically employed by the school district, instead working for a group that was assigned to NHS. She gave my uncle a special plaque with a poem. It was very apparent that she spent a lot of time working on it and she broke down as she was presenting it to him. She is a crier.
It must be difficult for NHS to be somebody's life. I believe that I came in with the right attitude and gained a lot from my experience, but I always say the finish line. The principal has been here for ten years, and she cares so much that it kills her. My uncle has meant a lot to that school, and I know he helped her break out of her shell a bit as well. The attitude with the staff has certainly improved (from what I've heard) since the Wisconsin boys have jumped on board.
After lunch, it was time to say some goodbyes. It is always strange to say goodbye to somebody I will probably never see again. People approach it differently. There were the huggers. There were the people who didn't even acknowledge me before leaving. And then of course, there was my goodbye to the English teacher, who is married to a youth pastor. I have never once heard her curse. She won't even repeat what the students say when they curse. Fittingly, I flicked her off.
One of my goals since I have been here has been to go drinking with the sergeants. It wasn't completely fulfilled, but my uncle and I went to the seafood place by school with Slowhand and the hardass sergeant (apparently, the other two don't drink) and split a six pack of Coors Light. I am sorry that I didn't get to know the sergeants better than I did. The hardass sergeant is one of the funniest people I have probably ever met in my entire life. I barely said a word, instead in stitches over what he was saying. For example, his wife was complaining about not having money. He responded with, "You're sitting on a goddamn gold mine. Work it!"
It is interesting for me to see the side of the sergeant different from the strict disciplinarian that he is while in uniform at school. I think that it is probably similar to the way my kids perceive me. They don't realize that in social settings, I am very different than I am when teaching. That is just one of the reasons why I was so glad that we got to perform the song. It showed me as being human.
While we were talking about the students, Slowhand (still wearing a black shirt, boots, and a black ten-gallon hat) offered his quote of the day. I have no clue where he was going or even what he was trying to say, but this is what came out: "No matter how many times...they call me...stupid."
Check "having a beer with 'a' sergeant" off the list.
Back at the apartment, I finished my packing and decided I was going to try to leave later that night. I also picked up some seafood to bring home. I look forward to eating it soon.
My uncle and I went to say goodbye to the principal. I was pleased that my package that I had ordered from eBay two weeks ago had finally arrived. I presented her with a cheesehead to always remind her of the Wisconsin guys. She does have a very strong personality (the nice way to say it), but she needs to and I will miss having her as a boss. She was very supportive and stood behind her staff.
After saying goodbye, I loaded up my car and went to the Science teacher's house. She was having a party. It was a small group, partially due to the weather. However, Slowhand was there, still wearing his trusted hat. I am pleased to report that Slowhand now knows his nicknamed and even admitted "that fits pretty good." He also is talking about taking some typing classes.
I left her house at 10:30 and started north on 55. It was a strange feeling. I can vividly remember my first weekend here, crying like a baby as I was overwhelmed, 942 miles from home. Yesterday, I couldn't stop smiling, thinking of all of the memories that I have made and how glad I was that I took the chance in the first place. I knew I was leaving with a lot more than I came down with.
I know that it wasn't a good idea to drive straight through the night from Louisiana to Wisconsin without a cell phone (mine is dead), but after a few months at NHS, I was feeling brave. In fifteen and a half hours, I made it home, arriving shortly after two. Besides some traffic and lots of road construction in northern Illinois, the journey was pretty smooth. A few things:
1) I did drive straight through and was greatly aided by a Five-Hour Energy Shot, two Six-Hour Power Energy Shots, an Amp Energy Shot, a small cup of coffee, a 20 oz. Mountain Dew, a New Orleans cigar, and three peach-flavored Swisher Sweets cigarillos. I probably looked and felt like many of my students.
2) It took me 2-3 hours less coming back home than it did going out to Louisiana.
3) Illinois is one large state. They should just have it removed.
4) It felt pretty good pulling into my driveway today. However, it was strange changing my "home address" on my GPS.
It is bittersweet being back in Wisconsin. I could feel that it was time to come back, but I will honestly miss a lot of things about Louisiana. Today, I closed a chapter in my life. However, I know that it will be revisited for the rest of my life.
All told, fifty students at NHS will be transitioning back to their home-based school. They include TB, Psycho T, Lady Cheaterly, The Great Black Hope, The Big White Kid, Jam Master Jay, Rosie, The Silver Tongue, Power Off, Prudence, Dogface, The Barber, Man Man, Teletubby, Slim, Miss Piggy, and Skinny Kid (formerly in Camo). Many of them will end up finding trouble once again and will be returning to NHS. Some will not.
I am so glad that I took the time to write this blog. It will be a wonderful resource to have as I age and I can look back on my first "real job" and remember some of the incredible things that I experienced. I appreciate that people took the time to read. I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to post any comments you wish.
I tried to end every class period in the same manner: I reviewed what we "learned" and how we would be using that information in the future. I would like to end my blog in the same manner. I can safely say that this was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I have compiled a list of just a few of the things that I gained from the experience. Thanks again for reading.
1. All the sweetest winds blow across the south.
2. I did it.
3. Popeye's >>>>>>>>> KFC
4. No man is an island, but every man is an iceberg. You can only see the tip.
5. Ultimately, we are all products of our environments even if we won't admit it.
6. Unfortunately, most people are never able to get beyond that.
7. In teaching, it's not what you know. It's what you can show. At NHS, you may need to show it 15-20 times and some of them still won't see it.
8. Everybody makes extremely rash, illogical, and poor decisions. Most of us look back at them, ask "Why did I do that?" and then use that knowledge to better prepare us for future decisions. Others never ask the question.
9. I saw a little bit of a lot of people that I know in these kids. Only that little bit was multiplied by about 100.
10. Even if it's just a glimpse that disappears when you close your eyes, you can see the good in anybody if you look hard enough.
11. That being said, it's always easier to see and focus on the negatives.
12. When I say the word "down", it sounds funny. I also use the word "okay" a ton while lecturing.
13. If they can't look you in the eye, they aren't telling the truth.
14. If they don't know how to do a problem, they just multiply all the numbers together.
15. The dress clothes can be deceiving.
16. A 300 page blog doesn't begin to tell the story.
17. Two things that I really need to work on: organization and brevity.
18. I honestly never looked at them and thought about how poor they were. I couldn't. I didn't want to imagine what their lives at home were/are like.
19. I am more tolerant and accepting of other races than I was when I started. After my first week, I never thought that would happen.
20. Cat = pussycat = pussy = YEAHHHHHHH MAN!!!
21. Catfish isn't cat, but it is still delicious.
22. I am a hell of a lot tougher than I thought I was.
23. You can't beat $1 Banquet chicken finger TV dinners or $1.25 Totino's pepperoni pizzas. I know how to live like a "penny prince".
24. Life is a lot like an oyster: It looks really scary and you never know what to expect, but you just gotta suck it up and enjoy whatever flavor comes your way.
25. "Ignorance is bliss." - Teletubby
26. "We aren't bad kids, we are just troubled." - Suit Man
27. Sometimes people push you away just to see if you'll keep coming back.
28. They really do want to be good. They just don't have the drive to be constant. It's all about instant gratification.
29. Speaking of which, $1 wort hof chocolate goes a long way.
30. First impressions are seldom wrong, but every once in a while, people will surprise you.
31. No Child Left Behind (and High stakes testing) is a joke.
32. The race card will always be in the deck and will always be played.
33. Never drink an Extra Grande Margarita at La Careta's and text your ex-girlfriend, telling her how you really feel.
34. Next drink an Extra Grade Margarita at La Careta's and text your buddy, offering to buy all of his drinks if he comes to visit you.
35. Drive-thru Daiquiris: Smart idea? No. Delicious idea? Yes.
36. GOMD: Every great story needs a romantic subplot. That is why this story fell short. I apologize for not being able to provide it. If only I had gotten a full sentence out, things would have been very different.
37. I no longer need my sister to tie my tie for me.
38. I still have never ironed my own clothes before. I'll need to work on that for the next job.
39. Losing weight in Louisiana is neary impossible. It is no wonder that it's the fattest state in the country.
40. You can deep fry just about anything.
41. Everybody should experience Mardi Gras atleast once in their lifetime.
42. Strip clubs are morally reprehensible, but if you are out on Bourbon Street, you have to go in atleast one.
43. A Hand Grenade will always go off about 30 minutes after the pin is removed, and it will destroy the person closest to it.
44. "Do you want to have some fun?" = Gonna cost you some $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
45. If they say you aren't doing your job, it usually means that you are.
46. Nobody likes looking stupid, and some people will go to great lengths in an attempt to hide what they don't know.
47. I gained a newfound appreciation for my parents. When I screwed up, they didn't tell me that they would "beat my ass" when we got home. The apple doesn't normally fall far from the tree. I think that if they had seen this school, they'd gain a newfound appreciation for me, too. I didn't screw up nearly as much as these kids do.
48. It only takes one person to make your day.
49. The compliments stuck with me a lot longer than the insults did.
50. Sometimes, so much happened in one day that when I was writing my blog, I forgot what happened in entire class periods and it would take me a while to remember.
51. Girls in Louisiana are amazing. If I had any game at all...
52. Work ethic in Lousiana: Not so much. I have never seen so many goft carts on a par 3 golf course before, never stood in line at WalMart for 20 minutes before, and never seen so many people waiting anxiously for 3:15 so they could go home.
53. Since I started on February 4, my uncle and I are the only two employees in the entire school that didn't miss a day of work.
54. I have never seen kids that needed to go to the bathrom or got sick more often than these students.
55. I still can't bring myself to say "y'all".
56. There is no such thing as normal. Everybody is screwed up in their own way.
57. In less than four months, I learned and lived more than I did in four years of college.
58. I never thought I'd enjoy it. I just wanted to survive. I knew once I started, I wouldn't quit. I am so happy that I made the choice, because I really did end up enjoying it.
59. If you are going to forge your boss' signature, make sure you know how to spell his/her name.
60. I will sincerely miss four things about Louisiana: the weather, the food, the people, and the feeling that I truly made a difference, no matter how small.
61. They would come to class and call me by the social studies teacher's name. They won't remember my name, but I will always remember theirs.
62. Things are seldom what you expect. One week of lesson plans became two months of work.
63. It is always easier to blame somebody else for your shortcomings.
64. I often wonder what my dad would say about things that are going on in my life. With my teaching, I know that he would say he was proud of me.
65. I taught at NHS. I can handle teaching anywhere.
66. I lived with my uncle for almost four months. I can handle living with anybody.
67. My uncle and I will have inside jokes for the rest of our lives. The Slowhand impersonation will never die.
68. The sad thing is most of the kids didn't make it out and most won't. A good portion of those that did will end up getting in trouble again and going back to NHS. Still, it only takes one to make it all worthwhile.
69. Slowhand taught me love my mother with all her motherly camaraderie.
70. I still have a knack for giving nicknames: Slowhand, Huggy Bear, and Humpty Dumpty as well as all of the students I gave names to. I still wonder if they came up with anything for me besides Bobblehead and Airhead.
71. One of my biggest faults is taking everything to heart. I think it is a good thing that I care, but I am larning not to dwell so much on every little thing. I'll never like hearing "you're a bad teacher", but I got better at dealing with it. They hated when they would say something to insult me and I'd be able to smile through it.
72. Sometimes, 1000 miles seemed like I was on another planet. Other times, it didn't feel that far at all.
73. I know that everybody sees things differently and I think that in order to gain something out of an experience, you must let it affect you. I never want to be somebody that sleepwalks through life with my eyes and my heart closed.
74. You don't need to be stumbling to be "tripping".
75. You don't need to be black to be a "nigger".
76. In Louisiana, you don't need to be certified to be a teacher. In fact, you don't even need to be a college graduate to be a substitute teacher.
77. I came in here with the understanding that my uncle would pay the rent in its' entirety. He never asked me about it, and I know he would have never said a word if I hadn't paid him a dime. I split it with him anyways. Truth be told, it was worth every penny to be able to call my residence "our apartment" as opposed to "his apartment".
78. After sleeping on an air mattress with a substantial hole in it for four months, I have a newfound appreciation for my own bed.
79. No matter how much I hear rap (at school) or country (in the bars), I don't think I will ever enjoy that garbage.
80. Teaching is as noble a profession as you're likely to find. They don't do it for the money. They don't do it for the recognition. They do it because getting through to that one kid means everything.
81. Since I've graduated from college, I have looked for moments of clarity. I want nothing more than a sign to give me some direction as to what I am supposed to do with my life. After these four months, I am left more confused than ever.
82. Maybe this experience did not directly tell me what profession I should pursue, but it did give me a pretty good understanding of who I am.
83. That being said, I do believe that if I choose to take the necessary steps, I think I would make a pretty good teacher. I know my subject and care about the kids.
84. They will never admit it, but they know that I care.
85. I cam in with a middle class mindframe. It was all about success. I cared about getting kids to pass their LEAP tests and promote out of the school. In the end, it became more about making connections that had very little to do with math.
86. Happenstance is a confusing, yet wonderful thing.
87. Don't turn your back on them. Ever.
88. A meal tastes a lot better when I pay for it (even a dollar TV dinner). If it wasn't for so much money, I wouldn't have cashed my first paycheck. I would have framed it instead.
89. "Shut your mouth" is now one of my favorite phrases.
90. I actually enjoy dressing up now.
91. As the NHS motto states: "It is what it is."
92. I never could get the temperature in the room quite right. I taught too fast. My pants were too tight. My hair looked fake. I gave out too many checks. I was "wrong for that" more times than I care to remember. I didn't get as many kids to pass as I had hoped. But I still feel like I succeeded.
93. They taught me a lot more than I taught them.
94. Candy Bar Man made me smile. Ho Man made me laugh. Teletubby gave me a headache. Skinny Kid gave me hope. I would hope taht I gave them a little bit of information regarding mathematics and the feeling that some fat, awkward white guy honestly gave a shit about them.
95. I have given up on the hope that I'll ever be cool.
96. I am too young and too stubborn right now to giv eup on the hope that I'll someday change the world.
97. It is pretty amazing that in a few short months, I met people that will impact the rest of my life.
98. Everybody has a story worth hearing. Unfortunately, most people never take the time to tell it.
99. I thought long and hard about whether or not I should make the trip south and take a job that nobody seemed to be able to last more than three days doing. After looking at the pros and cons and asking everybody I knew for advice, I based my decision upon a single thought: I remembered those old Army (I believe) commercials where they asked the simple question: IF they wrote a book on your life, would anybody care to read it? The answer was no. I was doing nothing worth talking about. I decided to take a risk, to force myself to open my eyes to some things that I'd never seen before and may never see again. It wasn't the easy choice, but I made it anyways, and it means a lot to know that some people thought it was worth reading.
100. One of the biggest tests of my life, and I passed it.
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