Trick or Treat

I knew before my day actually ever began that it had the potential to be interesting, atleast more so than yesterday. I left the apartment at 4 AM to give Ralph a ride to the airport. Returning around 5:40, I had a brief scare when I couldn’t find my dad’s ring. After searching for 20 minutes, I finally discovered that it had fallen into my uncle’s drawer. It took me atleast half an hour for me to calm down, which was with good reason, but that’s another story.

Leave it to Slowhand to make me feel better about the day. The biggest disappointment from a day ago came through with vintage Slowhand the moment I walked through the door. He was in the principal’s office, and he began another classic speech:

“Nah, I’m not proud to say, but…when I first moved here…married my wife…my dog…he got a bit of a reputation nah…he nipped…my sister…in-law…he was a German…Rottweiler…got a bit of a reputation.”

I listened with a grin on my face, wondering what could have possibly sparked that conversation. I also wondered where the hell this talk was yesterday. Better late than never, I suppose.

My second big surprise of the young day came when the English teacher was pointing at me with anger in her face. I couldn’t understand what she was doing until I saw him walking down the hall: the return of Ho Man. He hadn’t been in school for exactly two weeks. He walked right past me and didn’t seem to recognize me. I later discovered that he did remember who I was.

Before school today, administration had a meeting with a group of students that have the possibility of transitioning out of the school for next semester. I believe that the list includes at most 40 students, so roughly one in five. I will discuss this more in detail later.

Second attempt at EOC testing today. I had the same group of students that I had on Monday. Jam Master Jay and Lady Cheaterly were both among the students that were at the meeting. You could tell how good their moods were. It took me a while to get them to calm down and get in testing mode, but once they did, they were fine.

Testing went much more smoothly today. I only had students get booted off of their tests once, and five minutes later, the problem was fixed. The biggest issue that I ran across today was one boy who hadn’t completed his first section from yesterday. He had two problems remaining, and after completing both, he attempted to submit his test. Unfortunately, it stated that he had left 23 problems blank, and he was unable to return to any of them. I think he will end up having to retake that section, which is extremely unfair. I am not sure who I am testing tomorrow, but I hope all the bugs are worked out and it can go smoothly. I don’t like forcing these kids to take the test in the first place, and I really hate it when the program isn’t working properly.

It was around 10:10 when they were finished. I held the group of six (one absent) until lunch began at 11.

I spent a good portion of time working on my grades. I still do not understand how the grading works here, and honestly, I have been fidgeting with some of the numbers to try to help out my students. I have been told that all of the teachers here do it and nobody checks the grades. More explanation on this later as well.

I saw Ho Man talking to the security lady by the bathroom after lunch. When she asked him what he was doing back at school, he said, “I dunno.” He told her that he hadn’t been there in a while because of me. He made the claim that he was suspended for two weeks for bringing the money to class. For some reason, I don’t buy that. While he was standing near the bathroom door (which remains open) and buckling his belt, he looked over to a girl in my class (Toad) and said, “You wanna help me with this?” If only I had that much game, I’d be set.

He stood by her and said, “This my girl.” I corrected him, knowing that she is dating Strahan. Ho Man conceded, “Yeah, she was my girl. He dating her but I get that eating.” He gave a bit of a pelvic thrust and a chuckle. How I’ve missed him.

Fourth period: I had my normal class with a few fresh faces. Suit Man had to go test, as did a few others. The English teacher had tested several of them in the morning. According to Prudence (one of the students slated to graduate from the program), the test was really hard and she doesn’t know if she passed. I just told her that as long as she did her best, she shouldn’t worry about it. I really hope we can make it so the tests don’t count anyways.

I spoke with Teletubby out in the hallway after he began his day by pushing the girls near him. I asked him what the morning meeting was about, and he “played” dumb with me, pretending that he didn’t know. Finally, I got it out of him and I told him that he couldn’t slip up at all, because one referral could force him to be back at NHS for another semester. He nodded his head and told me that he would be good today because he wanted to get his candy.

Believe it or not, Teletubby won the bet. There were a few moments when I could have jacked him and called the day moot, but every time he spoke, he raised his hand. One time I mumbled some random insult that I can’t remember and he raised his hand. After I called on him, he said, “HUH!?” As foolish as the challenge was, I know how hard it was for him to control himself like that, so I will buy him some candy before the end of the year. First, I need to think of the most disgusting candy that I can.


Fifth period was a winner simply because Ho Man was back. Everybody in that class had finished their worksheets and quizzes (atleast allegedly) except for him. They were instructed to go on the computers and use one of two websites. Most tried to sneak on MySpace. I made Ho Man get caught up by doing the worksheets that he missed. He finished both of them, and got through three problems on the quiz before he told me he needed a break. There were less than ten minutes left in class by the time that he made the request to go on the computer, so I allowed it. It has to say something that my classes have been working on the concept for two weeks and are still struggling and I could teach it to Ho Man in about 40 minutes. Either the classes are too big or Ho Man is a genius. I know what my prediction would be.

Even with the impressive work ethic, Ho Man wasn’t short on topics to talk about. Most of them revolved around a common theme: cat. Somebody started talking about TB’s tongue stud and Ho Man asked him, “Brah, do you know what girls do with dat? Yeahhhh, I do.” Somebody brought up his son a few minutes later, and a new student asked me if I have any kids. Before I could answer, Ho Man interrupted, saying, “He ain’t never gotten any booty, so how could he have kids?” I actually thought that was some of the best logic that he has shown since he’s been at NHS.

Later, Ho Man asked me if I wanted to go “trick or treating”. When I asked what he meant, he said, “You know, we find some tricks, and then we treat ourselves.” I just shook my head and tried my best to look away.

While I was teaching Ho Man, the other students were on the computers. I had to correct them several times, because they weren’t going to the right websites. Skinny Kid spent his afternoon hitting on Onepac’s sister, while the little wannabe rapper was spittin’ rhymes about how I wasn’t supposed to teach them anything today and smoking weed. He gets on one phrase and can’t get off it. I need to start practicing up for our final battle.

Ho Man informed me that he wouldn’t be coming to school tomorrow. When I asked why, he said, “I got some booty waiting for me.” I wondered why he needed to do that during the day, and he answered, “Ain’t nobody at my house during the day.” When he decided he wanted to go on the computers, he promised me five minutes later that he would be in class tomorrow, admitting “the booty can wait until the nighttime.” At the end of class, I told him he was a good man. He agreed, saying, “I know I am.” I wonder if I’ll ever see him again.

My homeroom got off to an interesting start. Lady Cheaterly, Jam Master Jay, and one other girl all got checks for hitting. A special education student from across the hall came in unannounced and hit Psycho T. I think her teacher wrote her up for that. My students whined for a minute, then I promised to talk to them after class.

I didn’t get much done once again during homeroom. Most of my time was spent trying to get them to quiet down enough so I could make a point that I never made. I ended class by challenging them to be quiet for two complete minutes. I agreed to let them on the computers if they succeeded in silence. They didn’t.

All three students spoke to me after class. I sat down with them and said I really wanted to see them go back to the home-based schools. The two girls are both going to be seniors, and I told them that it should be one of the greatest years of their lives’ (hopefully a lie) and I didn’t want to see them stuck at NHS. Once again, I talked about learning from past mistakes and accountability. I gave each one their checks back and they all offered their thanks.

Two minutes later, Jam Master Jay was in the hallway with Suit Man, who was in a headlock. I do think he will end up graduating from the program. Sadly, I also think he’ll end up coming back.

After class, a girl from my homeroom came in for some extra math class. She is a complete and utter brick, but she has been trying harder ever since she went off on me the day I asked them to stand out in the hallway while I grabbed my attendance sheet. She finished a worksheet and even asked if there was anything else she could do. She is currently failing, but if she continues to show the effort that she currently is, I will see to it that her grade changes.

I don’t know “the list” for the entire school, but I looked through my homeroom and have a good idea of who could make the transition back to their home-based school and who will be at NHS for another year.

Potentially transitioning: Lady Cheaterly, Jam Master Jay, The Great Black Hope, Rosie, Teletubby, other girl (BuckTooth), Big White Kid

Back at NHS: Psycho T, Slim, The Rapist, Chocolate Crotch Crammer, The Boy with the Tattooed Hands

I will have a better idea of who is being promoted from the other classes in the school. I believe the list includes Man Man, Prudence, TB, and the kid with braids who got stabbed with a pencil. There are other possibilities as well.

I am glad that from my list, I can’t say that I was the deciding factor in any of their fates. If somebody such as Jam Master Jay or Teletubby doesn’t make it because of the number of checks written for me, I will talk to the principal and see if we can work something out. I don’t want to be the reason that somebody is stuck at NHS for another year.

I was hoping for a higher number. Some of the students, such as Suit Man, don’t have the mental capabilities to maintain a 2.0 GPA. Others, such as Psycho T, will quit if they aren’t promoted. She will be a senior this upcoming year. I know that rules are rules and these kids sealed their own fates, but I don’t see what giving some of them a chance at a normal school would really hurt. Of course, then other exceptions would have to be made, and it would become a matter of where to draw the line.

Sheets were made to pass out to our homeroom students explaining what each need to do to be promoted and why those that won’t be were denied transition. I expect this to cause numbers to drop. The reception of these forms will be quite interesting and I wonder what reactions they will spark.